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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think this kind of "confessing" is a pretty well known defense mechanism and think it can be  very reinforcing. I admit my embarrassing behavior and put it out there publicly for you, I mock myself. In doing so I look self aware, i am in on the joke and shaping the story, and I can indulge my wish that by doing so, by mocking myself,  you will judge me less harshly. I am also funny and charming, so you may find me endearing, we can maybe bond around it, etc. And I can feel less crappy about what I did and maybe even not think about it because your support gave me a little dopamine hit and I feel better. I am ok...Underneath it, there was often guilt and shame, but it got projected and i got my goodies from someone else to feel better. It's a very common, human thing to do.[/quote]

I don't think it contributes to thinking more deeply or learning though, that's the problem. It has a, "oh well....this is how we are" quality that does not really allow for a whole lot of change, because you are not really thinking about why you might do that, if you want to change it, etc. It seems emotionally lazy. That's my issue with that kind of post.[/quote]

I think you’re right — but what happens in her “confessions” is that her fan girls fall all over themselves to normalize, accept and defend toxic or harmful behavior.

She gained a lot of viral fame for writing her missives about the end of school year and basically refusing to hold herself or children accountable for assignments, permission slips, etc. While her writing style can be humorous, I saw teachers comment that end of year is hard for everyone and losing parent support sucks for them — and her followers bullied those women into silence.

Same when she made the bizarre post about her son’s graduation. He got up in the middle of the ceremony and walked out and she thought it was funny and “so him” and when people said it felt disrespectful it was quickly shut up.

This is just middle age Mean Girls with #blessed yeti cups. [/quote]

Oh my stars . . . there is more than one way to celebrate something! Bless y'all's hearts!

Hell, none of us wanted to be at DD's HS graduation years ago. We lost both her dad and my dad in the same month, right before DD turned 18 and graduated.

DD **BEGGED** us to not make a big deal about graduation - she hated HS and just wanted to be done. She would have loved it if we just let them mail her diploma.

In hindsight, I wish I had encouraged her to just keep walking after receiving her diploma (or after her only friend received hers, to soothe all the "support the other students" sayers).

As it was, I was fending off queries about a graduation party for months prior, and months after.

SHE.
DID.
NOT.
WANT.
ONE.

From the vantage point of parenting a 21 year old, none of this will appear on anyone's permanent record - there really is not a permanent folder somewhere.

And I would rather be or know someone who loses their $h!t over a board game, than one who chooses to be catty and speculative about someone across the country they have never met, but are going to roll around in that person's personal misery for entertainment anyway.

[/quote]

So you'd rather be known as someone who does not have the coping skills to deal with losing a board games -in front of your own children no less than be someone who criticizes someone who normalizes and makes cute disrespectful and white-privileged behavior? Got it! [/quote]

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