Reply to Long term affair... trying to wrap my head around if it’s even possible to get over your DH’s 3 yr

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]
I chose not to tell my family. This makes it harder as well. If you might reconcile you really think long and hard about who to tell and what it will do if they know for the future.[/quote]

Don’t keep his secrets.  You need a support network.  Let him deal with the consequences of his actions.[/quote]

I'm in a different place because there was no chance of us reconciling (he wants to be with AP), but then I found out she was far from the first. I told him it's his shame to carry, not mine. For the first two weeks, I didn't tell anyone, because I asked him to cut off contact with her, move out, and go to therapy to see if there was anything worth saving for the sake of our kids. After dodging the issue for two weeks, I confronted him yet again (basically, what are you doing here?) and he said he would move out. That's when I opened up to people. I agree if you think there's even a chance at staying together, be careful who you tell, but tell someone.

If anyone needs a place to vent, I can make a throwaway and post it here. Also reddit r/survivinginfidelity, or for those trying to reconcile, r/AsOneAfterInfidelity. Chump Lady is more of a scorch the Earth approach. I'm reading the book, Lose a Cheater and Gain a Life. Even though he wasn't trying to get back together, it's still really helpful.[/quote]

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