Reply to Why don't people leave their spouse instead of having affairs?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
Women have to maintain sex frequency/sex enthusiasm/kids/home/social planning/career.  I mean expectations of women are unsustainable.  I mean why should women even try since they’re set up to fail.[/quote]

MEN have to maintain sex frequency/sex enthusiasm/kids/home/social planning/career.  I mean expectations of MEN are unsustainable.  I mean why should MEN even try since they’re set up to fail.

Assuming women are the only ones who do the above is just disgustingly flawed and could only be puked out by a woman.

[/quote]

When have you remembered to get your kids to the Dentist? 
Do you know where the winter clothes are?
Which of your kids is allergic to which antribiotic?
When is the last time you cooked a real dinner that includes the proper number of servings of vegetables?

If you don't understand the invisible work of women and their mental load....well...I'm not sure there is hope for you and you will remain a hateful angry jerk[/quote]

NP here, and one who wrote about having an affair up thread.  If I had to guess why my wife has zero drive for me, it would be a combination of boredom which is normal and resentment from scorekeeping like this.  FWIW, she is SAHM, so it seems fair to divide labor a little more traditionally, but perhaps you disagree.

All of this is honestly sad, since this is really why people have affairs.  My AP asks none of this, of course, is thrilled to see me, we laugh, share jokes, have sex and part again until another opportunity presents.  To be honest, as fun as it is, I would rather have that relationship with my wife, as affairs are risky and also mentally draining.  [/quote]

I’m the original poster.  What you have written is so sad.

You seem to like your relationship with your AP because there are no responsibilities there.  This is not real life and so it feels good.  Your real life will have challenges/responsibilities/stress.  You unfairly compare your real life to what you have with AP, and unfortunately your wife suffers in comparison.

Your wife knows you are not engaged in your real life and don’t want the challenges.  Could it be your attitude that’s causing it the friction in your marriage?[/quote]

This guy is the worst!  Looking forward to his divorce, when he has to pay a nice monthly alimony and 1/2 of his 401k.  Then it won't be quite as fun to spend all that $$ on his AP. [/quote]

Alimony is rare. And temporary. It is half the marital share of 401k...and news flash, most working women have their own 401ks and in divorce they both share the marital share or agree to keep their own.[/quote]

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