Reply to I wish society didn't encourage people to put off having kids.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am one of those women who put my education and career first and kept putting off kids because I thought I had plenty of time. Unfortunately, I started trying too late. I was 35 and had a horrible time conceiving. After a lot of money and treatments, I had my DD at 38. I am now 49 and so tired. I wish I had the energy my mom had when I was growing up. We are 20 years apart and best friends. I may have a PhD, a  great career, and lots of money, but looking back, I wish I would have put more emphasis on life and not my career.[/quote]

Yes, but consider the counterfactual. Not being able to have lots of money - not being able to afford a house, or one in a good school district, enrichment activities for children, savings for your own retirement, none of that if you have a kid at 20, like your mom did (and mine too). And then once the kids went to college - your own dimmer prospects without a good degree in an increasingly competitive job market.  
[/quote]

Wow, what a generalization that is.  I had my first child at 20, was a SAHM until my second child was 10, bought and sold five different houses while raising our kids, went to college and got a BS between 35 and 40, lived in literally the best school district in NoVa (I know, debatable, but I researched it before we moved there), and both my husband and I will enjoy a nice retirement without depending on our kids to provide it.  My husband supported us first in the military and then later as a self-employed contractor.  Don't assume how others manage their lives despite what your parents may or may not have done.

And BTW, I am more than thrilled to have had my kids young, now that they are adults and I have grandchildren I do not envy others my age still raising kids, no thanks![/quote]

So it all really depends on how much your DH is earning then? 1950s called and said hello...[/quote]

He and I both valued having an actual parent care for our kids when they were young.  I also worked for many years as well.  And yes I am thankful he made enough for us to realize the lifestyle and parenting we both preferred.  It may be a concept that is outdated now but someone is paying the price for that.[/quote]

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