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General Parenting Discussion
Reply to "S/O Why do you care if moms stay home?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] You said if a woman who works is not her child's primary caretaker. That is incorrect. Stop with the moving goalposts.[/quote] Is the attorney who doesn't show up to court the primary litigator in your case??? You can't have your cake and eat it, too. And that's the point. There is a reason you hire a nanny or pay for childcare while you go to work. That person would be your child's PRIMARY caretaker--meaning that this person cares for the needs of your child on a full-time basis. Much in the same way that you are paid by your employer for YOUR full-time role doing whatever it is that you do while you are not simultaneously caring for your child. It is a fact. That you are defensive about it is neither here nor there, but it is you who is trying to have both the career AND be defined as your child's primary caretaker. You are not if you are not there.[/quote] Your analogies are not appropriate. [b]A full-time job is 40 hours a week, not 168 hours a week.[/b] I am a parent and primary caregiver 24/7, whether I am at work or home and whether my child is with me or at school. A nanny or daycare provider is never a primary caretaker, unless you have one of those old-timey, rich person situations where the nanny lives with the family and truly does ALL of the child care 24/7. That is highly uncommon. [/quote] Kind of why I used the attorney example. [/quote] And...it still makes no sense. Full-time parenting is 24/7/365. Even a full-time job is not. So, in your mind, to be a primary caregiver, must one never leave the child's side? Do you plan to attend school with them?[/quote] I'm the PP who initially (and I guess unfortunately) originally used the "primary caregiver" term. (And like I said in another post, I'm not the crazy 3 am poster from my toilet! I'm just up right now because I'm in my third trimester and can't sleep!!). I think we are confusing the terms "parent" and "caregiver." I never intended to imply that working parents do not have ultimate responsibility for their child or are not the most important adult in their child's life. I am talking about childcare hours. Like, actual childcare. I don't know how else to explain it. I'm a stay-at-home mom, but even I am not caregiving "24/7" - when my husband gets home in the evening, I consider myself "off the clock" for a little bit. When my daughter is sleeping at night, I am still responsible for her, but no, I do not consider those hours childcare. When my daughter takes her nap during the day, same thing - yes I'm still responsible for her, but no, I do not consider that time "childcare". If you are at work 40 hours per week and someone is watching your child during that time, that other person is taking care of your child, not you. Okay yes, you might be called in if your child gets sick or has another issue, but otherwise, you are at work and not doing childcare. Can you really argue with that? Again, NONE of this is to say that having another adult provide childcare for your child is wrong or bad for anyone involved!! [/quote]
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