Reply to Closed Adoption and found the birth mother

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Reply to "Closed Adoption and found the birth mother"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The only people who's opinions should count are the birth family's and the adoptee. No one else. Not the adoptive family and certainly not the random general public who have no idea or experience about adoption and couldn't possibly fathom what it's like to have placed a child or be adopted.  Everyone else is talking out of their ass.[/quote]

Like the woman who chose to give up her child for adoption, closed the adoption, didn’t want to be contacted, but had her family contacted (instead of her), regardless? [/quote]
Adoptee didn’t find her family using a PI they gave their genetic material to a private corporation who btw didn’t guarantee that they wouldn’t be contacting by ppl they wouldn’t want to hear from. Birth mother should be just as angry with her relatives. [/quote]

nope
just because you found out your mother doesn't mean you have the right to contact her (much less insist on it) if she explicitly said she didn't want you to [/quote]
Well when someone opts into being contacted on one of these platforms it does. That’s why you have the option to not do that. Have you ever used 23 and me or Ancestry? You select to allow people to contact you. Also as is obvious from the first post...OP’s sister didn’t contact her relatives through any other means besides the website. [/quote]

According to your logic, if I have a restraining order against someone it is ok for him to contact me through any website where I opt in into being contacted by strangers. Yeah... things don't work that way.[/quote]
No because violating a restraining order is a crime (or if it is a CPO a civil violation). A message you send someone knowing you are prohibited from contacting them is the violation. Messaging someone on a website they’ve joined short of a court order telling you not to do otherwise is not. By your “logic” if someone ugly messaged you on a dating website then they would have committed some sort of offense.

And just to cut off your next half baked argument that electing a closed adoption is akin to a restraining order, closed in closed adoption refers to information. You can’t actually bind an infant, because among other things they lack the legal capacity to enter into this type of agreement, from contacting their biological parents if they find them via other means. Whether they SHOULD do so is a different issue...[/quote]

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