Reply to Closed Adoption and found the birth mother

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A closed adopted does not assume the birth mother wanted no contact. Stop repeating this ad nauseum. It was designed to protect the ADOPTIVE PARENTS only. Keep in mind also that the birth father had zero rights for many years. It is pretty easy, btw, to find the bio mother without DNA...and much harder for her to find the adoptive family.[/quote]

OP here. The closed adoption was the birth mother's choice, not my parents. My parents didn't care, they just wanted the baby. [/quote]

A closed adoption is still legal for as much as it can be. It means she was not going to have contact, but the legal document cannot mandate anonymity on any level other than keeping the birth certificate sealed. 
Bottom line- she had every right to contact them. She has, however, no reason to continue to do so after hearing that they do not want it. She did the right thing, and now she will also do the right thing and leave them alone. As painful as it was for her, she knows what she needs to know, and it was her full right to know it- [b]even the fact that they were assholes*[/b]-and will move on. Her children may revisit this later, and that will be their decision.
*knowing about who they were as people will be part of her life knowledge..it is Ok, and she will be OK.[/quote]

This is such a projection, it’s almost laughable. They’re assholes for not wanting to greet a complete stranger to come into their lives, but she’s not an asshole for barging Into theirs, unwelcome? She chose to disregard the constraints or suggestion of a closed adoption, and unwillingness of contact, but somehow the family is to blame for not being warm and fuzzy? [/quote]

Yeah, it's pretty clear they were. [/quote]

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