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[quote=Anonymous]OP here. It's been 1.5 months. I know that there were people who were curious to see how this ended up. For the name callers out there, just stop reading this post if you think I'm a troll or a novelist. Again, there are real people involved here and getting peoples honest opinions have been helpful for me to work through this.

We've been seeing our counselor almost once a week and have concluded that he is a high-functioning alcoholic. He stopped drinking that week and immediately started going to AA meetings maybe 4-5 times a week for the past month and has a sponsor now. He's revisiting the idea of making church more a part of his life. He's trying really hard to work on himself and on us everyday. He's more of a present father & husband than he has ever been and extremely attentive to me (daily constant check-ins, love notes, flowers, lots of talking about this, commitment to working on his alcoholism). He makes it very clear, very often that he can't lose me.

Our counselor says that alcoholism was a big part of why he allowed this to happen with this other woman but for me, I'm not totally convinced. I can say that it contributed to it but this affair was going on for a year and I find it hard to believe that all his text messages throughout the day, everyday, had to do with alcohol. Counselor says the brain isn't right for an alcoholic, even during the day when an alcoholic hasn't had a drink. Could that really be true?

DH allowed full access to his texts and e-mails with her and for over a year, they had almost daily communication, all day long, mostly silly banter but definitely a lot of flirting. A lot from her side as if she were baiting him and obviously he fell for it. No new info on the physical-ness of the affair although I keep asking but he continues to stand by the "too long hugs" and "walking arm in arm back to the car" and she kissed him on the lips once to which he said he told her, "There can't be any kissing".

Part of me now is feeling like I should start forgiving but the other part is still REALLY angry and wants revenge. I thought we had such a great marriage and perfect family, businesses, etc. I was completely betrayed and the most hurtful part is that he was reaching out to her daily for over a year.

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