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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Larla/OP, are you and your family middle class African Americans? If so, I can totally believe that everything you've described is real - "traditional" man who respects his wife's family money/earned wages, is hard on his son to be a good earner but soft on his daughter; the middle aged woman who has multiple college degrees but chose to stay at home with family rather than take on adult struggles; the close relationship between auntie/godmother and niece/goddaughter. It sounds 100% believable to me from that perspective. I know several people who have this exact family dynamic.

I'm still cracking up at "flipping vs. fixing up" detective. Also at the person who seems to think that $400,000 in cash plus a $400,000 house is not a lot of assets for a woman in her 80s.

As for what Larla should do, I think that it would be reasonable to give Mary several months to find a new place - say, until March? If the house is in DC, you will have to give written notice that she has to vacate, but your lawyer can tell you more about that. I don't think that you owe this person anything. Y'all might be family, but you are not required to provide her a free ride for the next 30+ years of her life. You are not responsible for anyone's choices but your own. If you are feeling especially generous, you could foot the bill for the deposit and movers to the new apartment, but that's as far as I'd personally be willing to go.[/quote]

Op here, 
At this point in sure if anyone recognized the family dynamic from my post, my identity is already out. Yes, The dynamic you described is pretty accurate .[/quote]

PP here. Don't worry, Larla. I absolutely don't know you personally.

What I did want to say, though -

Your godmother sounds like a really wonderful woman. Your grandmother too. Those two, raising each other after the death of their parents, did something that I doubt many of us coming up now could manage. I'm sure your godmother did the best she could with her daughter. It sounds like she was a good and supportive mother, even if that support wasn't always in the best interests of her daughter's long-term self-sufficiency. It sounds like you work really hard and are taking care of your parents as best you can while trying to move forward with your life. If I had to speculate about your godmother's motives, my guess would be that she wanted to help you to move forward with your life without having to take care of anyone. I would assume that this would include also not taking care of Mary. My advice is to look to your godmother's example of working hard and caring for your family, but to set some boundaries about what "taking care of family" means. Maybe it wasn't possible for her to set those boundaries. I'm sure it would've broken her heart to kick her daughter out onto the street, and frankly, I don't know a lot of mothers who would actually make that choice if really faced with it.

I posted my question because I don't think that the majority of the people on this board are familiar with the family structure and dynamic you've described. I think that's why many of them think it's unusual and are calling you a liar. I read the whole thing and found it 100% believable. It's just not even remotely within most of their lived experiences, and they're inclined to call troll the second someone else's life deviates from their lived experiences.

Please do meet with a lawyer. Figure out what your options are, and then figure out the best way to execute them. You are under ZERO legal obligation to let your cousin live in your house indefinitely, but you may have to work with the courts (and possibly the Marshals) to evict her. That can take some time and does require written notice. It would be better if you could come to an agreement with her instead.

Good luck![/quote]

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