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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So I didn’t know the family but know someone who does, and she said they were a sweet family. I don’t know anything about the family or their timeline. But for cultural context, Burning Man, integral psychology, getting married after pregnancy/baby… none of these are a big deal at all in the Bay Area and are barely even fringe they’re so common. So the people spinning off theories about murder/suicide are really reaching. [/quote]

I agree.  But as far as what people say, idk.  Because people do not meet new friends and discuss their personal feelings and state of mind.
I once spent an entire day with a guy friend.  His wife took their little boys to a carnival & he didn’t want to attend because she was going with another boy mom.  That evening we were hosting a large field party and the couple had a sitter lined up for after the carnival.  I last saw my friend at 4:30.  At 6:30 i drive back to help prepare for our bash.  Traffic was stopped for miles and miles.  I eventually was directed to turn around, so I headed back home.  This was a very rural setting so one way in/out to the field.  As I drove home my phone was exploding.  My friend had shot himself in the head at 5pm.  His wife and kids found him upon returning from the school carnival.  I never understood what was wrong.  I knew them for years, they were a good looking couple with a brand new house, twin boys, great careers and appeared to be the perfect all American family.  
When I got to their house that morning, the wife was still getting ready and her husband was sitting under a huge tree reading Bible verses to the twins.  He went trail riding with a huge group of us regular trail riders.  No one noticed a thing.  He talked, laughed, seemed eager for the party that evening, had ordered a new truck and seemed excited for its arrival, talked about building a barn and getting horses for his family, etc.  
[/quote]

Omg this is terrible do people
Know what happened did he leave a note at all
Or anything?[/quote]

No.  Nothing.  
I only shared this because it really brings home the fact we can never know what’s going on in someone’s head. 
[/quote]

Yes and your friend’s husband who killed him self (very sorry btw) is that no one was saying, well he was straight/white/a father/etc as a sign of being nefarious and of ill repute like they are with the couple being Burners/yoga/untraditional etc. If it was a case of murder/suicide, it’s not because of those things because all those things are pretty standard for the Bay Area.[/quote]

His case didn’t make national news, so a big dif’.  And, he wasn’t missing.  But, everyone, including myself, said “omg, can’t believe it…”.  You know, “of all people, never thought…”.  What’s weird is that they ended up moving right across from a farm I kept my horses on, they loved to ride, they quickly made a lot of new friends. We let them ride our horses and would see them daily.  Absolutely NO signs of trouble.  But, in retrospect I don’t think anyone would ride up and say “btw, life sucks, I’m thinking of putting a bullet in my head.”  I suppose some people “hurt” deep inside and don’t want to tell anyone.  I’d probably be the same.  
Once, my husband and I had to relocate for one year for his job (he was plant mgr of a very large manufacturing plant) to oversee the closing of a plant.  I hated every second of our temporary move.  I felt out of place, had no friends, people were busy with life.  When we did socialize it was corporate functions, mainly.  I NEVER expressed how much I disliked the town.  I didn’t know our dinner companions well enough to be my true self.  Luckily we were not in pandemic mode so I could shop and get out.  It still sucked though.  Moving wasn’t the problem, we’ve moved many times.  It was where we got sent that sucked.  [/quote]

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