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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DW with a high drive here. I really don't understand all those "if you woo her by helping around the house, she will want to have sex." No, she won't. Not the way OP wants it, anyway - he doesn't want it out of gratitude, he wants her to lust after him. And that is purely hormonal, I think. I've been married 12 years, we have sex 5-6 times a week but if it was up to me, it would be more often (it's not because jobs and small children make it impossible). But the thing is - I don't constantly jump my husband because he takes out the trash - I do so because I have a high drive and want sex. I love him, but I am pretty sure that unless I married someone I loathed, I'd still want regular sex with them. Just the way my hormones are wired. If what OP wants isn't for his wife to have sex out of duty, gratitude, nonsexual love, I don't think it's going to happen if it hasn't happened. She's either sexually driven or not. It's not going to change.[/quote]

OP needs to read this, true advice.  He, like many men, chase their tails trying to find a way to turn the lust on in their wives.  Some women have it naturally, the rest - it's gone for their husbands and it's not coming back.  Ever.  There are definitely things OP can do that will facilitate the right mood and/or keep away the resentment so that his wife is willing to let him have sex with her - and once the sex starts she will sometimes or usually get into it.  But reading OP's first post, it sounds like he is already there.

OP, what you have is normal.  Living the rest of your life with a partner who never seems to really want to have sex with you, but is willing to under the right circumstances is soul crushing, but welcome to many marriages my friend.    You have three options - accept it, have an affair or divorce.  If you divorce, just know the chances of finding a gem like this PP is a tough.[/quote]

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