Reply to SAHM's, What do you do all day?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think everyone else has pretty much covered the fact that there are ways to be a useful and productive person without earning a paycheck.  So I'd like to point out something that I don't think has been discussed although I haven't read all 18 pages.

Here's something that many don't understand about SAHM.  One big factor for many of us is that our salary was such a small percentage of the household income.  It just doesn't always make sense to go back to work.  When I got pregnat with my first, DH was making $115K and I was making $30K.  So it was kind of a no-brainer considering all the costs of day care, work wardrobe, etc.  BTW, that's not because I was less successful - I was 25 and he was 32.  ten years later and my youngest (3rd) is in half-day K.   It still doesn't make sense for me to return to work.  Not sure if it will next year either.  Even though they will all be in school all day, we will still have the issue of getting them to school (which doesn't start until 8:50), child care after school, what to do all the days that they don't have school, and especially winter/spring/summer breaks.  In my field, part-time or WAH is not an option so it's all or nothing for me.  I stay relevant in my field through volunteer work and networking because someday it will make sense for me to go back to work.

Anyway, my small salary is by no means the only reason I stay home, but it's definitely a factor.  It seems that most working moms have an income that's closer to 50% of the household income, so they really have no choice but to work.  So I certainly don't judge anyone's decision to work.  Even if they can get by on DH's income, I respect their decision and realize that staying home is not for everyone.  [/quote]

This is a really fair point. I think the reason it has not come up is because many, many women in this area and who post on this board make a lot more than 30K. For many of us it DOES make sense financially to work, and even if we don't absolutely have to (which is totally subjective and will depend on people's comfort level and how risk adverse you are in these times of ridiculous health care costs, insurance issues connected to employment, lack of pensions, etc.) it is a lot to give up. Many of didn't have kids at 25. So in your circumstances I could understand the limitations you faced by the time you had three kids and not a strong career background to return to (since you didn't work that many years before kids). But many moms on this board have other considerations to weigh - advanced degrees, years of a career they have invested in and may really enjoy, very valid earning potential, etc. Not saying anyone should work or stay home, it depends on so many factors and what is right for one family is not right for another, but I think your situation is less common in these discussions on this board.[/quote]

+1. The other problem with this argument is that it's really shortsighted. Yes, in that year, you were making $30K, but it was highly unlikely you'd make $30K forever. The research shows that the lifetime hit to your earnings potential from even a short time out of the workforce dwarfs the cost of childcare in most cases. And it may still not be the right tradeoff for your family ("good for her! Not for me!" As Amy Poehler would say), but looking at it in terms of a single year is really misleading. We had our daughter in my last year of law school, when my income was arguably negative. If we'd just decided then that it didn't make sense for me to work, the opportunity cost of that decision would have been many, many, many times what we pay our nanny![/quote]

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