Reply to SAHMs, do you worry about your husband leaving you?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Here's one thing I wonder about:  I am constantly reading that SAHM "makes life easier for everyone".  Does that include the wife/mother?  Because truly, the descriptions of the SAHM days that I'm reading sound like life is easier for everyone if mom spending her whole day taking care of everyone's needs.  How about mom's life?  I guess everyone is different and some women get enormous fulfillment from taking care of everything, but I really wonder.  I like to cook, and do most of the cooking, but if my days were spent cleaning, making beds, doing laundry, doing errands so that no-one else in the family ever had to life a finger, I would be seriously resentful.  I mean, is that all there is?  I assume adults make the choices that work best for their families, but sometimes I really wonder if women are making the choice that works best for everyone except themselves.[/quote]

I don't think it necessarily works better for the husband, either.  Do you know how much more stressful being a sole breadwinner is, especially when there are kids involved?  MUCH more stressful than throwing in a load of laundry or cooking a dinner while your wife catches up on work email.[/quote]

I have no idea for other people, but for me, yes, it is much easier. I have the same amount of help I had when I worked (well, a lot less childcare but more childcare so I can do things for myself). I cook a lot more, but I like that so it isn't a chore. I have all day to do the errands I used to do right after work or on weekends. We never have to figure out who can cover when the nanny is out sick or who is going to take the kids to their doctors appts. I no longer run around like a chicken with its head cut off. I have time to exercise and read. I have time to take cooking classes and volunteer for causes I care about. If a child is sick and needs picked up, I never panic about how I am never going to get my work done and sent to the client as promised. It certainly isn't for everyone and there can be drawbacks, but our lives are so much more calm. [/quote]

What does your husband have time for?[/quote]

He works a lot (same amount when I worked - 60-70 hrs/week). He participates in a sport 2x/week. He doesn't like to read outside of work, but wastes a lot of time reading the internet. Sees friends about as much as I do. [/quote]

Working 12-14hours a day, when does you DH see the kids and have the chance to play a significant role in their lives?

At best we are talking 7-7 here. What does he look like? He's got to be so incredibly out of shape with that lifestyle. He sounds like an ATM, not a father. Maybe he likes the escape.

No wonder you don't work! Those poor kids would have nobody.[/quote]

You sound so lovely and non-judgmental :roll:

His job is different than most. He works some really long days, but then gets a lot of time off/vacation time. He sees our kids plenty. They adore him and he adores them. He looks great and is in good shape. He exercises a lot. What do you think he is trying to escape?  He has a big responsibility to his patients, so no, he doesn't just leave them at 5 pm to come home to throw in a load of laundry. But he does make time for his family. He is a great father and husband. We love him a lot and he loves us. He does make a lot of money but we would never think of him as an ATM. Why is it so hard to imagine that people have made different choices from you and are happy?[/quote]

Lots of unhappy people on this board who either resent or can't believe that others are happy.  Those that attack are only revealing their own unhappiness.[/quote]

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