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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "SAHMs, do you worry about your husband leaving you?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Here's one thing I wonder about: I am constantly reading that SAHM "makes life easier for everyone". Does that include the wife/mother? Because truly, the descriptions of the SAHM days that I'm reading sound like life is easier for everyone if mom spending her whole day taking care of everyone's needs. How about mom's life? I guess everyone is different and some women get enormous fulfillment from taking care of everything, but I really wonder. I like to cook, and do most of the cooking, but if my days were spent cleaning, making beds, doing laundry, doing errands so that no-one else in the family ever had to life a finger, I would be seriously resentful. I mean, is that all there is? I assume adults make the choices that work best for their families, but sometimes I really wonder if women are making the choice that works best for everyone except themselves.[/quote] I don't think it necessarily works better for the husband, either. Do you know how much more stressful being a sole breadwinner is, especially when there are kids involved? MUCH more stressful than throwing in a load of laundry or cooking a dinner while your wife catches up on work email.[/quote] I have no idea for other people, but for me, yes, it is much easier. I have the same amount of help I had when I worked (well, a lot less childcare but more childcare so I can do things for myself). I cook a lot more, but I like that so it isn't a chore. I have all day to do the errands I used to do right after work or on weekends. We never have to figure out who can cover when the nanny is out sick or who is going to take the kids to their doctors appts. I no longer run around like a chicken with its head cut off. I have time to exercise and read. I have time to take cooking classes and volunteer for causes I care about. If a child is sick and needs picked up, I never panic about how I am never going to get my work done and sent to the client as promised. It certainly isn't for everyone and there can be drawbacks, but our lives are so much more calm. [/quote] What does your husband have time for?[/quote] He works a lot (same amount when I worked - 60-70 hrs/week). He participates in a sport 2x/week. He doesn't like to read outside of work, but wastes a lot of time reading the internet. Sees friends about as much as I do. [/quote] Wow. This would not work for me. We are a two income home. I WFH and DH works a 40hr work week, out the door at 8 back in by 5. For that we have a combined income of 325k. We eat dinner each night as an entire family and DH coaches both of our boys Fall and spring sports. No way could he do that if he were the sole income provider and had to bust his ass to provide a comfortable income we are accoustomed too. Honestly with our easy schedules and decidedly unglamorous middle management positions, life is good and I would certainly not call Iitchaotic. By me working, it gives my DH an opportunity to be an involved father rather than a dedicated employee.[/quote]
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