Reply to Tension with Wife's Family over Finances

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Her loans are her responsibility. Those need to be on hold until she starts working.

For dining and travel, just accept what works for you.

Overall, be generous but don't feel obligated to go out of your comfort zone.

You and your FIL sound like more alike than you and your family.[/quote]

Any undocumented quasi-agreements made between an 18-year-old and her parents are not a "loan".  Its not enforceable. [/quote]
Indeed, which is why I don't think the FIL really expected her to pay everything back, but wanted her to have some skin in the game.

If he was as much of a jerk that OP thinks he is, then he would've made it a legal binding contract, with an interest rate and maturity date.  But, he did none of those things.

He's a self made man (unlike OP).  He expected his daughter to also be a self made person and not rely on parent's wealth (like OP), and then think they are great for being generous (like OP).[/quote]

A loan with a maturity date would have made clear what the transaction was.  A vague "skin in the game!" "0% loan that may or may not ever be repaid depending on how we feel that day!" is a way to control through money.  [/quote]
we don't know if there was a payment plan, but I assume she was paying something, and now that she has chosen once again to get a degree that doesn't pay well, and her husband has stated that they will stop making payments even though OP is wealthy, understandably the FIL sees this as OP being cheap and his daughter going back on her word.[/quote]

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