Reply to Tension with Wife's Family over Finances

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP's problem he is actually broke. He thinks about all his in terms of his family's money because he doesn't have any of his own money that he can decide how he wants to spend. He's basically a trust fund brat.[/quote]

I think you have it backwards. She's broke. She doesn't have a job, and owes debt to her father. He has a job and didn't say he has debt. [/quote]

He feels guilty that he was given everything to get his start in life while he knows his FIL worked very, very hard for everything he has. He’s never had to do any true hard work and he knows he can never compare to his FIL in that respect. 
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He literally said that was his family's MO to pass down money through the generations, so no OP doesn't feel guilty. That's some fantasy writing. The only thing backwards is OP thinking that his wife is owed something from her father. The more he changes his thinking to "she is broke and in debt and will not receive an inheritance," the better.

The OP values family and generosity. His FIL values self and disavows handouts, even for family. They don't have a value match. [/quote]

Just because OP doesn’t realize that he feels guilty doesn’t mean he doesn’t. It’s embarrassing to have to compare yourself to someone who worked hard for everything he has and realize that you were handed everything by your parents and grandparents. Being around a man like his FIL is uncomfortable for him and he’s looking for ways to blame his FIL for his own inner feelings of inadequacy. He’d never admit that that is how he feels, but it’s pretty obvious from his writing. 
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I think this is it. Being around the FIL is triggering the OP, probably because he is actually a little insecure about how money flows in his family. And I think he is annoyed with his wife for wasting hundreds of thousands of dollars but has deeply suppressed it (maybe she is really attractive?)[/quote]

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