Reply to Bafta awards controversy

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Haven't you seen the videos of people post anesthesia who say offensive things? Are people really triggered and offended by those vidoes and expect apologies? Usually the people in them are laughing and not taking it personally as they understand what the person coming out of anesthesia is saying is not under their control. But most people on here seem to think those people are extremely offensive and should be apologizing for their comments and that being under sanesthetic does not give them a right to say anything inappropriate and they need to be held responsible. [/quote]

I think people are used to being able to reflexively demand other people apologize. They are frustrated that it doesn't seem to work in this case.[/quote]

Well, there are other options. Apologies are designed to indicate to people who you’ve hurt in some way that your intention was not to hurt them.  Most sincere apologies are met with forgiveness. Without an apology, the consequences for many behaviors are likely to be very different. So, are those of you who don’t believe that apologies are necessary advocating for the kinds of consequences that saying offensive things to people you don’t know will often provoke? If so, you probably don’t have Davidson’s long term best interests at heart. [/quote]

There are people of all ages and races with coprolalia and I think the view that they owe an apology to anyone who is offended by any of their tics puts a massive burden on them. Many people tic very frequently and continuously being asked to come up with an apology for any offense each tic may have caused or offense taken by those who don't understand may not even be practically feasible. [/quote]

OK, but surely we can distinguish between ticcing while out to lunch or ticcing while running errands and ticcing , in an otherwise silent large auditorium, while someone is making their televised acceptance speech for a major award.  I agree that they don't need to be a constant walking apology, but some situations are different from some others.

Also, I think it's actually kind of dangerous to try to run with the idea that someone with coprolalia doesn't need to feel they owe an apology to anyone, because people need to learn what their disability is and they need to remember to be inclusive.  Because people can't even learn what something as common as autism is a good chunk of the time.  If someone with coprolalia is taught that it's completely ok to go out in public and not apologize for having tics when they occur, they're going to get harassed, assaulted, or even shot.  I'm not saying that is ok, but if someone with this gets onto a bus and sits down and starts with a loud vocal tic of "N WORD, N WORD N WORD" while looking at a bus full of Black people, they can't honestly expect that everyone's just going to take it in stride and continue to peacefully ride the bus together. It's dangerous to set that expectation. [/quote]

Most people - John included, work extremely hard to not tic (take medication, do therapies) and to be as inoffensive as possible but it isn't a controllable condition and John apologizes all the time. He also chews on a leather thing that he keeps in his mouth that he can bite down on and muffle sound with. But he can't apologize for intentionally directing racist slurs at people to disrupt their day as that just isn't genuine. Sometimes a string of offensive things come out - the condition is about saying offensive things. There is really no way he can be repsonsible for everyone's feelings who are in hearing distance of him. He hates what he says and does - he isn't getting joy from it or from upsetting people. He doesn't want to do it.

There are lots of previous clips about him. He has so many people in his life who talk about what a great guy he is, and I sure it is hard for all of them to see him being spoken about as a man who intentionally yelled racist slurs at two men, ruined their night, and refuses to apologize for it. Especially given this was supposed to be a big night for him with the movie that he worked so hard on coming out. So many people are only reading headlines or seeing short clips and think he is just a horrible human without going any deeper.[/quote]

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