Reply to I went to visit a swingers club for the first time. AMA

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Keep the questions as clean as you can and I will do my best to answer all posted here. I won’t name the exact club or day I went, but the visit was in the last month.

I’m doing this because it was way less scary than I built it up in my mind. I am hoping to help others who are curious and nervous about making the first step/visit. [/quote]
How attractive were the people? Being propositioned by people I find unattractive and having to see them getting raunchy with each other would turn my stomach.[/quote]

If you read through the thread, I address attractiveness at several points.  If your stomach turns at the idea of someone that you don't find attractive enjoying their body or someone else's body, this is probably not the environment for you. I didn't see anyone that I found grossly unattractive, but had I, I would have just looked away. I don't know what your personal definition of attractiveness is because that is very personal, but please keep in mind that you might be someone's idea of unattractive. Body acceptance (yours and others) is key for enjoying a lifestyle club.[/quote]

DP. But realistically it sounds like all the women there were in fact performing femininity (all dressed up, taking the role of the traditionally “sexy” one) whereas the men just put on a nice pair of slacks. Although I find the “lifestyle” clubs intriguing I think I would feel very off-put at the reproduction of mainstream gender stuff. [/quote]

Performing femininity, or actually feminine? I am generally a feminine woman. I mean, today I'm in yoga pants and a sweatshirt, but if I leave the house, I'm generally in feminine presenting clothing. Would you have this same thought if I told you that I was wearing a dress and heels to work, which I do?

There were women there in longer dresses, jeans and a sweater, and other items that didn't show of their bodies. I don't think anyone would bat an eye if a woman showed up in a more neutral outfit. I chose to show up in a short dress. [/quote]

But were any of the men showing skin or were they just standing around on the dance floor in khakis watching the “ladies” dance with their boobs out? [/quote]

They were in their slacks. Most women did not have their boobs out- they were wearing club-y dresses, boobs tucked in. Of 60 people on the dance floor, maybe 4 women had their boobs out?

Would you want a bunch of guys with no pants hanging around? No judgement from me, but if that was your thing, I'm sure you could find a club that has more that type of vibe![/quote]

I don't necessarily want men with no pants on, but I most definitely do not want an atmosphere where women are there to be sexy and gawked at while men stand around in their "slacks."[/quote]

I guess my question to you is- what do you define as sexy for a man? When I close my eyes and picture a sexy man he is typically wearing a well cut dark suit, a tight shirt that shows off his muscles, and nice shoes. So, for me, a bunch of well dressed men aren't a problem. I would probably be a bit uncomfortable if I walked in and all the guys were wearing just jock straps[/quote]

You're not quite getting it.  Yes that does sound nice (albeit not what you described) but the issue is that this club seems entirely designed for the, sorry to be hackneyed, "male gaze."  That is not sexy to me in the slightest.  [/quote]

A significant percentage of the women in the community are bi-sexual so it's not just men who are looking. It doesn't sound like this atmosphere would be for you regardless of people's attire.[/quote]

How many of the men were actually hot? Like, tall, buff, well dressed and groomed? The description sounds like the women are mostly attractive and the men all look like Bill Gates or something worse. Maybe that's where my mind goes with "slacks".[/quote]

This is likely the last attractiveness post I will answer. It is just like anywhere else. There are good looking people that you find attractive, and people that you do not. I don't know what your idea of attractive is- so my percentage may be different from yours. There were a lot of good looking (to me) people there. Men and women.

Why is everyone so [b]upset about the word slacks?[/b] I can say pants, but at this point I'll stick with slacks. Seems like a fun little button to push. [/quote]

I'm a guilty party on the "slacks" front. I don't have any beef with use of the word. But then someone else seemed riled up about it, and it's an inherently funny word. So I used it as a punchline a couple of  times in the discourse.  [/quote]

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