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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]For the record, I don’t think most American surrogates are poor. They are usually women who had easy pregnancies and births and see it as nbd to do another one, help a family and make money in the process. A win win for everyone involved — that is, until something goes wrong. I only point this out because everyone seems to be equating “surrogate” with “poor person.”

And let’s also remember that gay men use surrogates too and it works well for a lot of families who have no other way of having biological kids. I would hate to think a loving gay couple couldn’t work with a surrogate and have a bio kid, with the right protection in place for both sides of the agreement.[/quote]

Whatever you need to tell yourself to whitewash the exploitation of women through surrogacy, which is otherwise recognized worldwide. You are telling yourself a myth, not unlike the myth of the saintly relinquishing mother in adoptive circles. Doesn’t it bother you even the slightest that the country with the worst maternal health outcomes is also literally the only one that permits commercial surrogacy? Do you consider yourself otherwise in favor of women’s health and safety? Doesn’t it bother you at all that this is seen as explicit exploitation globally?

As for gay men, well that is just business as as usual: when the desires of men conflict with the health and wellbeing of women, men prevail. Men being gay doesn’t give them a free pass to exploit women. [/quote]

Surrogacy isn’t going anywhere in the US.  Your perspective is irrelevant. [/quote]

Don’t be so sure about that. As more stories like this and others emerge, support will drop. It already is dropping.

The other voices that are starting to rise are those of the children born of surrogacy. Like adoption before it, those born of surrogacy are reaching adulthood and are starting to understand just what happened for them to exist. And many of them are angry and horrified. It is very similar to what happened with the history of exploitative adoption in this country. It was the children who eventually organized and forced legislative changes. They are organizing now.

I think it is going to be eventually highly restricted here. Probably not outright banned, but possibly. And, that’s the right outcome. [/quote]

Maybe.  But to me it sounds like a whole bunch of jealousy by women who feel threatened.  [/quote]

NP. What do you think people feel jealous or threatened by exactly?  The faulty moral compass that you must possess in order to rent another womb out of vanity?  Or your infertility? [/quote]

People like you have lost social currency.  Your fertility doesn’t make you special anymore.   Everyone can have a child now, regardless of biology.

Surrogacy gives women the ability to be more selective about their choice of partner, to invest more heavily in their careers, and to avoid some of the physical consequences of pregnancy.  I’m sorry that you had to settle for a second rate man and a mommy track career because you bought into the fertility lie.  We’re doing things different now.[/quote]

It was a harsh response to a harsh response.

If I met you IRL:

-I would express my deep concern over the medical, economic, and legal issues that surround surrogacy in this country, in its current state. There is a very slippery slope when people start buying and selling biological material in an unregulated market that favors the wealthy or legally savvy. When there is no legal protection, and very little legal precedent, you are essentially relying on the other party to "do the right thing." Which is a subjective term. Some people get lucky, some people get on the wrong side of a crazy person who does not have their best interest in their heart.

-I would ask you if you've read the Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood and what you think that book is trying to warn us of.

-I would tell you that any 15 year old can probably get pregnant, that I'm not over valuing fertility.

-I would tell you that I disagree that surrogacy helps improve your choice of partner or career. I don't believe that older parents are always "better" parents. There are good parents and bad parents at every age. There are good marriages and bad marriages at every age.

-I would tell you that I don't think fertility is a "lie." I think it's a biological function.

-I would wonder if it's ethical or moral to outsource a pregnancy "side-effects." I guess you think that is equivalent to buying a fast pass at Disney? You don't want to wait in line, but it's fine for people who can't afford one?

-I would voice concern over the allocation of medical discovery, dollars, and resources allocated to infertility - both personal and as a society. We are solving a problem that doesn't really need to be solved and could be easily avoided if the rich, entitled 1% just cared a little less about their careers or the negative optics of starting a family at 30.

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