Reply to Punctuality Disagreement

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think there has been a lot of projecting as to the definition of threat. Spouse A simply could have said, I’m sick of you being late, if you’re not ready I’m leaving without you. Op never mentioned angry, loud, aggressive threats. Just that Spouse A has said on multiple occasions they would just leave and in this case they did.

People are posting as if the OP described some knock down drag out fight then a scene in front of the friends at the restaurant but the OP did nothing of the sort. [/quote]

I don’t think it means that.

Look, if my teenager is failing math, and I threaten to get him a tutor if he doesn’t improve his grades, then finally hire a tutor in frustration when he fails his next exam, that implies a certain kind of interaction.

If my teenager is failing math, and I offer to hire a tutor to help out if he keeps struggling, and then when he fails his next test, I find a tutor for him…that implies a different kind of interaction.

The initial scenario isn’t a knock down drag out screaming fight (although it could be).  But whatever it is, it’s definitely laced with anger and hostility.

Most people wouldn’t do this to their kids.  So [b]why do it to your spouse?[/b]  [/quote]

Why would Spouse B be so inconsiderate to Spouse A? They know the timeliness is an issue - Spouse A comes from a military background and has always made punctuality a thing and has repeatedly asked Spouse B to be on time. But Spouse B can't be bothered to care about what anyone else thinks. Why would you do that to your spouse?[/quote]

That’s interesting.  
Do you view all of your spouse and children’s actions as being about you or something they are doing to you?

Do you feel like your spouse running late is trying to hurt or embarrass you?  Do you feel like your teen is trying to harm you or embarrass you if they poorly in math?  
[/quote]

Being late and failing math are two separate things. I can’t help you if you can’t see that.

You have to go to the extreme to try to make your point, do you not get that? Who said anyone views all the actions of their spouse as about them? That’s nuts. But being late for a function with your spouse’s work friends when your spouse has asked you repeatedly to be on time, yeah that is something you’re doing to your spouse, especially if you’re like the other people who say they’re on time for work and for flights. [/quote]

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