Reply to To my husband’s work AP

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]"Won't someone please think of the homewreckers!?" --DCUM cheaters (or wannabe cheaters) thinking it's perfectly fine for OP's life to be destroyed, but don't dare hurt the people who were the destroyers.

The moment you cheat on your spouse, is the moment you forego any consideration by your spouse.  The spouse who has been betrayed, gets to decide how they react, not some stranger whose own marriage is undoubtedly unhappy and you empathize w/ a cheater because you are one or want to be one.

OP, don't do anything before you really think about it, but ultimately, do what you think is best for you and your family.[/quote]

I think people are thinking about the OW's husband. OP seems to be gleeful about wrecking that marriage without regard to the innocent people involved. I, for one, am not sure I'd want to know if my spouse were cheating. [/quote]

The cheating whore had zero regard to the innocent wife and kids.
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You seem to miss the point. The OW's husband is an innocent party here, and OP is getting her revenge at his expense. She is pretending that she's doing it in part to help him, but the reality is that she is doing it for spite and without regard to the OW's husband. That's selfish. It makes OP less sympathetic.
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The AP’s husband is going to be hurt because of the AP (his wife)’s actions. OP is just the messenger. The second the wife banged some other dude she hurt her spouse, he just doesn’t know it yet.

I don’t think OP is gleeful about the other husband getting hurt, I think she wants to be able to call out the people who hurt her and have them suffer the consequences of their choices. This is an understandable feeling. If a coworker told a lie at work to blame a mistake on you, you would be justified at wanting to prove they lied even if it meant they could lose their job, which would hurt their innocent family members. It’s a normal human feeling to want to see someone who wronged you suffer consequences (on a much larger scale rape victims testify against criminals, sorry to the criminal’s family, but that isn’t the victim’s fault).

Don’t go out and behave in a way that will hurt your family, and if you get caught it is your fault alone that you hurt innocent people. [/quote]

OP is 100% gleeful about destroying OW's marriage and hurting the husband. It's selfish, and she's doing it for her own gratification. It's selfish. Your whole post is such nonsense mental gymnastics to avoid the obvious.[/quote]

"The obvious" what, exactly? The fact that OP wants to lash out? So?

Another PP above has nailed what you simply refuse to see: [i]"OP is just the messenger. The second the wife banged some other dude she hurt her spouse, he just doesn’t know it yet."[/i]

OP's motivations really don't matter, even if she [i]does[/i] want to tell the AP's DH because her motivation is punishing the AP. Even if that's a terrible motivation. The DH still should know. And the OP isn't the one harming the AP's spouse. That person is 100 percent his wife, the AP.

If telling the DH does not give OP the gratification or closure or "gleeful" pleasure you think she wants, so what? That's HER outcome.

The cheated-on DH's outcome, whatever it ends up being, wlll at least be one fully informed by knowing his wife's actions. He likely will know exactly where to place blame, and it won't be on OP. [/quote]

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