Reply to Would you confront your husband/wife's Emotional Affair lover?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm one who's just come out of an emotional affair. I've talked to my husband about it though I did not describe it as an emotional affair. I told him I felt very strongly for this friend and that I also felt physically attracted to him. I was never sure whether I'd fallen in love with this friend or not. I'm starting to think a part of me must have, because it's extremely painful realizing the extent of my feelings for him and realizing that our friendship will never go back to what it was before it evolved into an emotional affair. And that in all likelihood, we won't end up being friends. This friend and I never spoke like lovers and certainly never acted like it. We were just really good friends who liked spending lots of time together. And I wasn't spending time with him b/c of any problems in my marriage. I'm very happy in my marriage.

The situation fills me with so much sadness though, b/c I feel I've lost a good friend, and I wish we could recover our friendship, and I wish that we could both work at the friendship and make sure that our feelings are kept under control. Because underneath it all, I can't help but feel that what we had was a good friendship that sometimes got confused with sexual attraction and feelings of tenderness. Is this completely naive? Has anyone had an emotional affair and managed to stay friends with the person? [/quote]

To quote Cher , "Snap out of it."  You are still fantasizing about the other man and your husband can't compete with a fantasy.

How would your husband feel if he knew you were still trying to have a friendship with a man you were physically attracted to?  I know what my husband would do.  Pack my stuff in a suitcase, throw it out the door, and change the locks.

Figure out where your priorities are before you regret what you are doing.  If you want to save your marriage, stay the hell away from the other man.  Not good for you, not good for him, and definitely not good for your husband and marriage.  Make new, female friends to help fill the "friendship" role. [/quote]

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