Reply to Would you confront your husband/wife's Emotional Affair lover?

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Reply to "Would you confront your husband/wife's Emotional Affair lover?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

I can think of a few problems with this approach and it ultimately does not improve trust between you and your spouse:

1) The spouse thinks you are crazy and doesn't believe you.

2) Say you are successful and you ruin the other person's marriage.  Aren't you making the other person more available for your spouse by making her/him single?

3) Say you get what you want and you break up the affair.  Who's to say your cheating spouse won't just find someone else since he/she was out there looking in the first place?  The other person is just a symptom of what is wrong in your marriage, not the problem.

I think you should only deal with your spouse because all odds are off when you get in the middle of the other couple's marriage.  You come off as seeming vindictive and a looney toon.  You can, however, insist on your spouse ending contact with the other person and work on your relationship.  Focus on your marriage not the other person's would be the best approach at ending the affair and ending the possibility of future affairs.

Just my two cents. [/quote]

What trust "between" you?  Your spouse is having an affair, so he or she is by definition not trustworthy.  Trust must be re-earned; it is not a right.

1.  That's why you need proof.

2.  Why do you think the goal is to ruin the other person's marriage?  The goal is to stop the affair.  Two people trying to stop it works better than one.

3.  Wrong again.  The statistics referred to earlier on this thread and born out in research on infidelity is that more than half of married people having affairs characterize their marriages as happy or very happy.  Most affairs are "symptoms" of problems within the cheating spouse, and not within the marriage.

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