Reply to Friend group is blowing up due to rift between teen girls

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A lot to unpack here but what type of example are you setting for your daughter?

If she was mean to the other girl and purposely exclusionary just because she's weird/wears glasses/braces/whatever silly reason she needs to apologize.[/quote]

OP here. No, she just is not friends with her any longer and has no desire to hang out with her. There isn't a silly reason - they grew apart. I talked with her about how to pull away more gracefully, but she's not just arbitrarily dropping someone due to wearing glasses.[/quote]

OP please hear this.
They didn’t “grow apart”—your daughter ditched a girl she used to be friends with to hang with a cooler crowd. I know you want it to sound natural and mutual, but the entire event/upset as you described it was literally that the friend wanted to hang out with your DD *and her new friends* and your DD and new friends said no.
Now Imagine being the mom of the lone girl in the text thread who is asking to hang out and is being told by all the other girls on the text thread (including the daughter of one of your friends) that they don’t want her to hang out with them.
With that lens , can you possibly see where it feels cruel and very much like your DD was participating in bullying and ostracizing her?

I know you want it to just be a mutual organic breakup bc their interests took them in different directions. But that’s not what this is. Your daugher is the one doing the breaking up. And it’s hurtful to the other girl. And it wasn’t kind or gentle. It was public (in front of these other girls) and humiliating because all she was trying to do is continue to be included.

Yes, girls do grow apart and friend groups sometimes shift. But this wasn’t that.
You didn’t properly coach your daughter that she doesn’t need to be UNKIND in order to not spend as much time with the former friend as she used to.

Makes me sad that you can’t see the hurt that this other woman’s daughter is experiencing due to your daughters actions.
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