Reply to If you had an affair with a married person

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "If you had an affair with a married person "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have a question for the PPs who talk of karma eventually taking care of the OW.

You wouldn't like my former AP's now ex-wife.  She's a racist, nasty, Trump voting, unintelligent person.  I don't believe in karma, but since you do, isn't it possible that her husband cheating on her and leaving her is karma for her choices?

/shower thoughts[/quote]

I don't believe in karma per se, but definitely that poor choices often have a cost. As for this person, it sounds like her lack of intelligence makes her susceptible to a comforting "us vs them" ideology. Certainly that may drive people away from you, but that's a separate issue than your AP choosing to cheat rather than leave. He made his own poor choices that certainly cost him something as well. Her being unpleasant didn't suddenly absolve him of treating her with the basic decency owed to someone you once chose to marry.

My husband had an affair a decade ago. I've followed the OW's life from afar since then. There were the self-pitying wilderness years following the affair. Then her finding an older widower and getting married. Now she's 42 and posting about how she still hopes to become a mother some day.  :shock:  I can understand why a ready-made family seemed like a workable option to her at the time. That didn't work out for her, of course. I never wanted bad things to happen to her, but at the same time I understood that the same frailties that made the affair seem attractive were also going to shoot her in the foot in other ways as well, and maybe I didn't always feel too terrible about that.

(And yes, dear reader, obviously I ponder the same frailties and consequences for my husband, but that's a separate post. He certainly made out a lot better than the OW, and the cost paid was disproportionately paid by me, the innocent party. Guilt is only as punishing as a person's capacity for it. Though on balance, I'm satisfied with how we resolved things.)[/quote]

The “frailties” that made her susceptible to squandering her best marriageable years on your lying husband, you mean? I wish women could sue men for this kind of fraud.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics