Reply to Holding my boundary. Let him be mad.

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Reply to "Holding my boundary. Let him be mad."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The real issue isn't the time table or number of hours put in by each parent. It's the lack of grace they're showing one another.

My spouse would have said to me, "I know this is your free time and you so deserve it, but I'm really struggling right now. Can you handle lunch and nap and then I'll do bedtime tonight?" or whatever. And I would have said, "Sure thing, sorry you're so tired. Come be Mommy's snuggle buddy, honey!"

More grace, more love, more joy. That's what it's all about.

My husband is always talking about the 90/10 rule, that we fixate on the 10% we think our spouse is slacking in instead of focusing on the 90% that's positive. But on the flip side, if we understand what bothers our spouse (our 10%) and work on it for them while also focusing on the positive (their 90%), everyone feels happy and seen and appreciated.

I do think it's important to carve out time for yourself, and your spouse should want that too. If he's taking advantage of you, then you should be able to say, "Hey, I feel like you're taking advantage of me. Don't you want me to have time to myself? Don't you see how hard I work?" But don't play games. I'm not going to stick around in any relationship that turns me into a petty, game-playing person. If that's who the relationship turns me into, then something is seriously wrong.
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Yes to all of this. [/quote]

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