Reply to So tired of MIL acting like she’s the hostess in my home

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, you are a bad host.  You obviously refuse to take responsibility as to why your MIL feels compelled to offer guests food.  BECAUSE THEY ARE STARVING!!!!!!!!!!!@[/quote]

You really need to take some medication.  No one is starving at 3pm and requires wine and snacks. But go on with your crazy self. It’s amusing. [/quote]

You're gaslighting.  This hostess needs the meds for her severe OCD and rigid meal restrictions.  [/quote]

I’m gaslighting someone who posted in all caps that at 3pm, people are starving followed by 10 exclamation marks when none of that was true? Really? Yeah, no. Please enlighten us to the post where OP has rigid meal restrictions and where she says no one can eat outside of the regular meal times. What page and time stamp? [/quote]

Un read the OP its right there. Not at 3. Only at 5 when the host will serve those things.[/quote]

OPEN KITCHEN.

God almighty, you people cannot read.[/quote]

Exactly. So mil was helping herself and others who were hungry. Because the kitchen was open.[/quote]

NP. How do you know “others were hungry”? My sister has a crazy MIL who tries to do things like this and is always bustling about and extremely nosy. If she was doing that kind of crap in my sister’s kitchen, I would probably accept a glass of water but try to re-direct her away from setting out what I knew was the sangria my sister made for a holiday party. Some people just cannot relax and are constantly making their anxiety someone else’s problem. It’s annoying.[/quote]

OP didn’t say they weren’t. She’s just mad mil embarrassed her and her poor hosting skills.[/quote]

NP and it is not "poor hosting skills" to provide open access to your kitchen, but to have a few items earmarked for specific times, like dinner food or like shrimp or artichoke dip for cocktail hour. And yes lots of people pick out specific wines to pair with dinners, especially holiday dinners. [/quote]

Can you quote where dinner and ear marked things were served other than wine? OP was mad people ate at 3 and not at 5 because she was totally inflexible.[/quote]

It's right here in the original post:
 She starts offering people wine and snacks at 3 p.m., when DH and I serve those things at 5 p.m. Then she gets miffed when DH says “No, mom, we’re going to do X and Y at 5 o’clock, and that wine is actually for dinner.”

For me, getting yourself a little something if you're hungry at 3 is totally fine, but unilaterally deciding that you want to put out whatever the cocktail hour items are at 3 is rude. You don't get to decide to play hostess in someone else's house. Would you seriously do this? In my family, when we have holiday gatherings, we do special cocktail hours that have like hot dips and special cocktails. It would be beyond rude for someone to just decide it's time to bust out the winter sangria that the hostess had specially prepared at 3, or get out the marcona almonds and artichoke dip that was meant for cocktail hour.[/quote]

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