Reply to For those of you whose parents divorced when you were 20+, if one of your parents started a second

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "For those of you whose parents divorced when you were 20+, if one of your parents started a second "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]All these 2nd wives have no idea that if they die 1st their money will go to the adult children from his 1st marriage and only a portion will go to their own child.[/quote]

Why would you assume that?[/quote]

so you are cool with your retirement going to his kids if you die early due to cancer. All that money goes to your H, then passes to all his heirs.

That is what you want for your child? To share the money you earned your whole life to go to kids from his 1st marriage?[/quote]

I have an estate plan. 66% goes into a self executing trust for my kids and 33% goes to my spouse. I sought legal help before we ever got married. My brother not my spouse is the executor of my trust for my kids.  DH pays for our lifestyle though I also work. If he was saddled with lifetime alimony I never would have married him. If he stops being an attentive husband and father I’m out. [/quote]

So your money goes to your kids and his money goes to all his kids.

That is exactly what people are saying.

The adult children should still get a portion of the h’s inheritance.

So if he dies, he did the same 66% goes to the kids and 30% to you?[/quote]

I assume if he dies in that scenario the 66% would be divided among all his kids from both marriages, plus I would hope it would be less than 66% as we have young kids I need to raise and put through college. No matter what he does, I’ll be okay as I save all my earned income between my 401k, kids college accounts, and my brokerage account.  It has to be this way. I have young kids and marrying him was a big risk. [/quote]

You should have a life insurance policy to help raise your children. Have you not done that?[/quote]

Sure but it’s something he controls. I control my income and I save it.  It doesn’t matter that much in the scheme of things as he has plenty and can afford to fund our entire lifestyle and he does.  I work for peace of mind. [/quote]

So we agree his kids should get even amount of money should he die.[/quote]

Honestly I don’t care. As long as he is a good husband and father to our kids then the rest doesn’t matter.  He knows i won’t stick around if he fails us, and it would hurt him financially a lot more than me to divorce.  Re estate planning,  I’ve got things worked out so that my kids and I will be fine if he dies and our kids will be fine if we both die. If you focus on anything else you’ll drive yourself crazy and turn into someone you don’t want to become. Once our kids are adults and educated, I care a lot less. I want to leave most of my estate to a nonprofit that is close to my heart. [/quote]

Okay, so think through how this impacts the ACOD. When dad is young-ish and healthy-ish, you're going to take up a huge proportion of his time and energy, leaving them with a lot less than they would have had. But if dad doesn't pass your performance review (and his performance largely depends on how much he's willing to ignore his adult kids and his grandkids), you'll dump him (keeping a lot of the money), and they'll be left caring for sad old broke dad alone. Can't you see what a bad deal this is for them?[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics