Reply to For those of you whose parents divorced when you were 20+, if one of your parents started a second

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why does it matter as you are grown?   I am the second wife.  We have kids and they are 20 years from the youngest and no big deal.  Kids were adults so it did not impact their lives.  [/quote]
Typical second wife trying to disappear the kids from the first marriage.[/quote]

Not np.  I am a second wife and I tried desperately to have one big family, even settled for not always happy if I could.  I love my DH and know how much ALL his DC mean to him, it was his kids from his first marriage who became magicians and disappeared, that is a fact.  But I'm sure they'll magically turn back up as soon as he or I are on our deathbeds.  Funny enough, their mother was the one who had all the money and pissed through it, we live a middle class life with two working people and very few vacations if any.  Pretty normal I think, at least in our neighborhood.  I suspect we lost some of the financial shine my step children needed/wanted, but that was their choice.  They are always welcome in our home and in our lives, but I will not be blamed for their adult choices.[/quote]

Okay, hon. Listen. What little inheritance they could have had went poof the moment you married. The moment you had a kid, there went a lot of his time and attention to his older children and his future grandchildren. Do you think he's going to be the grandfather he could have been if he didn't have more kids? Do you think they enjoy visiting him when his life revolves around toddlers, he's running out of money, your age-gap marriage awkwardness is on display, and he's old and exhausted? Come on. You can't do this to them and expect "big happy family". You need to open your eyes to how this plays out for them. You and he certainly do have the right to marry and have kids if you choose, but that doesn't mean you can ignore the consequences to other people and expect them to be happy about it. They're not in love with you like he is. You say you wanted a big family, but you only wanted it on your terms. They know perfectly well that their absence is the price of his marriage.[/quote]

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