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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op I’m in a similar position to you. Honestly with two young kids I don’t put any effort into my weight at the moment. Dh and I both work full time and I carry a lot of the mental load and logistics for our children and day to day. Would he think I was hotter if still weighed 125 lbs? Yes. But he still compliments me frequently and desires me. We’re both doing our best and I think he sees that. By the way, he’s also losing his hair and that doesn’t matter to me. It’s part of aging. [/quote]

But this is not a valid analogy. Hair loss is 100% age related and 0% within his ability to control. [b]Gaining weight is 0% age related and 100% within your ability to control.[/b][/quote]

NP, not the PP you're responding to. Re:the bold -- that's just wrong. Do you really not understand that weight gain is not "100 percent within" everyone's "ability to control"? Would you have me leave my DH because he's gained weight due to a medical condition that is out of his control? (Yes, he's getting medical treatment for it but is not likely to drop all the weight he's gained.) Would I like it if he were back to his old weight? Sure. But I married a complete person, not just a body, and not just a number on the scale, and I'll take the person over perfection any day.

I swear, the shallowness, focus on appearances, and willful misunderstanding of basic physiology on this site are astounding sometimes. [/quote]

Agreed. And I say this as someone who is conventionally attractive so maybe that’s rich coming from me but I find people attractive at many sizes. Variety is the spice of life. I think if DH had a six pack he’d be too self-obsessed because the amount of work he’d have to put into it just with his body type would be insane and diva-adjacent. Do I like looking at 6 packs? Sure, but it’s not really in my fantasy repertoire to shtup one. 😝[/quote]

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