Reply to When you didn’t “do enough” as a host

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Maybe if they were called tapas or mezze people might recognize that what OP served was perfectly “hospitable.”[/quote]

+1  Do these people never eat tapas or mezze? Some of my favorite meals![/quote]

You guys don’t know what mezze is. Mezze is full salads, kibbe, fattoush, tabbouli, sambousik, fassoulia, etc. It is actual salad, grains, prepared meats, stuffed pies and similar. Mezze is not bagel bites and rolled ham and cheese. We spend a lot of time with family on the Med. You are confusing any food put on a small plate with mezze, without realizing that mezze isn’t some cheese puff.

Now you might like cheese puffs for dinner (and you do you!) but stop calling it tapas/mezze! And no, we never serve mezze at home. It’s just a restaurant thing bc they need the smaller plates [/quote]

You’re being pedantic. The idea is the same. [/quote]

The food bears no resemblance.[/quote]

Why does it have to? Appetizers are appetizers. That’s the point. The style of serving small plates of food goes by many names.[/quote]

That’s where we seem to have discord. Some PPs think appetizers are dinner. Others think appetizers are only a small bite, pre-dinner portion that’s not intended to be a full meal. I wouldn’t view bruschetta and ham, or a pig in blanket as dinner. So many of us would just be surprised if that’s all that was served. Mezze, traditionally, are full dishes. Actual cultural dishes that are often nutritious and substantive, just in a smaller size. Mezze aren’t appetizers [/quote]

Ham is what my mother has served  as the main course for Christmas for 60 years. And her mother served it for Christmas for years as well. It's a traditional Christmas dinner for many. What a weird thing to say.

Pigs in a blanket is just like eating a hot dog, only fancier and not as big which means you can eat more of other things. And a hot dog is an American style sausage, which are served in many countries as dinner.

You are very rigid in your definitions of what one can / should eat when.[/quote]

Look, you can eat all the American hot dogs that you want for Christmas dinner. The menu to me is still unappealing. It's not what I would ever serve but perhaps we just cook more. Cooking culture is very big in my family. I understand that is not the case for all, and for many people cooking is a chore. Particularly around the holidays.  I don't actually care what you eat (or what OPs family eats) but PPs are clearly misguided in what they think a meal vs appetizers are. That was my point. If you enjoy only appetizers, fine. I have learned when we need to eat before heading over to a party and when not so this thread is enlightening.

And no, bruschetta with a slice of parma ham on it is not a Christmas ham dinner. You're purposefully misreading text. [/quote]

And you are being rigid in insisting your definition of a meal is the only one out there.

I am an experienced cook. Appetizers / finger foods can take a hell of a long time to prepare and cook. Way longer than putting a roast and potatoes in the oven.

You also refuse to acknowledge that serving lots of different kinds of "appetizers" can be a godsend for people who aren't interested in/can't eat the main "big" entree for whatever reason.[/quote]

No, I'm not being rigid. I've said repeatedly that subjectively I dislike the menus and hosting styles listed above. It is unappealing to me to eat finger foods all day. I find it a bit lazy and inhospitable. I don't know how many times to repeat that it is clearly a subjective assessment. Objectively, however, a ham and cheese roll up from Costco is not a meal, though it does resemble a 2nd grade lunch box.

And on what planet do you only serve one entree for guests to eat? We did the holidays. We had 10-12 different options. I didn't need a small plate of hot dogs to feed people. But I do recognize that our guests eat like us. We don't have guests who aren't accustomed to our foods so it would never occur to me to make the foods that you mentioned. [/quote]

You served 10-12 different entrees at one get together? What are you, a Cheesecake Factory?[/quote]

NP. The previous poster did not say she had 10-12 entrees. She implied that she made more than one entree, and state that she had 10-12 options (which I take to mean including side dishes). To me, her post read as someone who offered (just as an example) beef tenderloin or vegetable lasagna as entree options, and then numerous side dishes (options) in addition to more than one entree.[/quote]

So like what everyone else is doing. What's so special about it again?[/quote]

I never said it was special. Do you have reading comprehension problems? You deliberately misread her post as her claiming she served 10-12 “entrees” when she said “options,” and you deliberately misread my post as me saying she did something special when I said no such thing. [/quote]

You read it again. PP said :"And on what planet do you only serve one entree for guests to eat? We did the holidays. We had 10-12 different options"

Options to what? To the entrees, meaning more entrees.. 10-12 entrees. She's full of shit, obviously.[/quote]

Her response IMPLIES that of those 10-12 “options,” at least two would be entrees. Because in her (limited) view, a host must serve more than one entree—so by default, we must assume that at least two of her “options” are entrees. [/quote]

Who knows because what she said is clear as mud. OP served meatballs and sandwiches. Those can be entrees as well. So, options. But the rigid PP took huge offense at that idea and then pretended she does something totally different, which she doesn't.[/quote]

A meal of appetizers (which I fully enjoy and agree is a meal) is a completely different preparation process, serving style and type of event than a buffet dinner that involves two entrees and numerous side dishes. I like both of these kinds of meals, I host both of these kinds of meals. But I’m not going to pretend like they’re the same level of work or the same vibe.

I served Christmas dinner with turkey, ham and all the traditional Thanksgiving sides, because that is what my ILs like for Christmas, and it was their turn with us. A few days later, my aunt had an awesome appetizer dinner. I’m not saying one was better than the other, but it was a completely different level of shopping, cooking, planning and pulling it off, and it’s just silly to pretend like those are the same amount of work for a host. That said, I liked my aunt’s meal better, because I only “need” Thanksgiving once a year to be fully done with it! [/quote]

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