Reply to Does anyone else find ‘cherish these moments’ parenting advice a little traumatizing?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The hostility is palpable. Not fatigue or being overextended, downright disdain.

What a way to walk around the world.[/quote]

I know, isn't it frustrating when you can't manipulate or bully someone into seeing the world as you see it, and behaving exactly the way you think they should behave? Isn't it annoying when you approach a complete stranger and try to give them advice, and they have the audacity to not like it? Isn't it awful when you try to change someone's mind, again and again, and they just...keep the opinion they have? Apparently that's very upsetting, no?[/quote]

Do you hear yourself? You are doing exactly what you are complaining about. I'm sorry that you hate other people so much. [/quote]

No, sorry, I'm not here telling people not to offer unsolicited advice and comments to strangers--if they want to be Nosey Nellies, that's on them. But when I shared my opinion that this kind of attention isn't welcome or productive to me, and then you tell me over and over again why I should change my mind? I'm just...not going to. But I have not once--not once--told other people to stop being intrusive to moms with small babies. I just said there's never a world where "oh I'm going to stop looking at you and your baby" [LOL] is going to persuade me out of my perspective.[/quote]

What you can’t seem to grasp is that of course people do notice when people approach them, but they don’t notice it when people don’t approach them. “Gosh golly gee, here I am at the Farmer’s Market and not one total stranger has come up to talk to me? Is it because I was defensive when an older mom gave me unsolicited advice to me at Target that one time?”

Also, people coming up to you in church aren’t strangers: they are people you know from church, or at least people you have some connection with. That is a much different vibe from strangers in the grocery store. That said, in either case, *people do not like unsolicited advice.* They do like warm greetings and “oh your baby is so cute.” I don’t get why this is hard to understand. Why you think unsolicited advice and “just you wait, you have no idea” comments are not the same as polite greetings and people telling you your baby is cute.

I'm the person who said I wouldn't comment on anything about you or your baby.   I didn't say or think that it was "punishment"  I know my opinion matters very little to you but, when a few posters back asked what they would like people to say "cute baby" good job and you are doing your best or whatever...I was addressing those comments.

My basic point is sometimes as humans you are well intentioned and mean well and say the wrong thing. It isn't done intentionally and you were trying to connect to another mom/woman.  So instead of saying hey this person had good intentions and they meant well you attack them and then dictate what they should say.  Which I agree would be nice if we were robots and always knew what to say.

So to avoid the eye rolls and the nasty comments I am going to remove myself from the conversation and not talk to strangers about their babies.  Most moms do like it when people say "cute baby" but hey you want to control us and I am saying no thanks! [/quote]

OK? Shall I alert moms of babies that you will no longer be complimenting their babies? Or maybe you should start a new PSA thread? [/quote]

HA HA HA   I am not that conceited that my thoughts, compliments or 'advice' will be missed.    But, if you wonder why very few older women say anything to you and your baby..now you now why!  [/quote]

Why would anyone wonder why older strangers aren’t saying anything to them and their babies? LOL.[/quote]

I suppose I am not communicating very well or just different generation.  I remember dressing up my baby and going to church and so happy when people would talk to me about my baby.  Even if they gave advise like cherish this time.  It made me feel connected.  Or if my toddler was acting up a stranger would come over and get my baby to laugh.  
 If I was standing in line with my cute baby it isn't that I need validation from a stranger but it makes life happier place.

If you dont have the experience I can understand why my comment would be strange to you.  Point is I wouldn't say anything for fear to anger you.  Isn't that somewhat sad?[/quote][/quote]

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