Reply to BIL offered our vacation home to his brother

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why do people think canceling Labor Day weekend is going nuclear? Going nuclear is never talking to them again or suing them for giving out your codes. Canceling Labor Day weekend is taking a step back, putting in boundaries and giving time to rebuild relationships and trust before spending an entire long weekend together in cramped space. [/quote]

OP was clear that the Labor Day gathering is a tradition in the family and something the kids, who are close, look forward to greatly. People here, including me, are saying that canceling that would be punitive toward the kids, who were not involved in the boundary-busting stupidity. Not intentionally punitive, but still, that is how the kids would feel about it, and it is not caving in or being a doormat to say, "This was a bad situation, but we can be civilized for a weekend so the kids aren't punished for the adults' stupidity."

OP and her DH can put in rules and cameras without having to drop out of something that other family members, who were uninvolved in the vacation house nonsense, are expecting to enjoy. OP sounds like she is going to be good at navigating the weekend, and she's already said the LDW is going to happen. [/quote]

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