Reply to What happens to the "dud" husbands after divorce?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I know two "dud" husbands. One became a dud as a way to poorly deal with his [b]wife's nagging and controlling behavior[/b] (the behavior I witnessed was borderline emotional abuse). I think he shut down. When he finally divorced her, he slowly went back to his normal self and wasn't a dud anymore.

The other one was a dud from the start. He managed to find someone else who would put up with his behavior after the divorce.  [b]She's nice but has zero self esteem[/b] and I think that's why he gets away with being a dud.[/quote]

So what you’re really saying is, it’s all the women’s fault. They are too demanding. Or not demanding enough. Got it.[/quote]

Well the first example was her fault. I mean, sure he could have handled it better, but she was the cause. And no, the second example is not saying that it's her fault for him being a dud. I'm saying her lack of self esteem is what causes her to put up with him. No one with any self respect would be married to someone like him.[/quote]

Nagging does not excuse someone from their basic responsibilities. [/quote]

What if the only effort they put into running the household is nagging? [/quote]

Nagging isn't the reason somebody becomes a dud. You could just as easily say the dud caused the partner to start nagging.

Everybody is responsible for their own behavior. [/quote]

You know the best way to cut down on someone else’s nagging…. Is to do what you agreed to do, and do it right. [/quote]

Funny. Clearly you've never been married to a mentally ill woman. [/quote]

Hm. How did you help her treat her mental illness? THat seems like a larger issue than “nagging”. This reads like the age old trope of a loser man who gets the boot then referred to each Ex as “crazy” to his new partner. Common and boring. [/quote]

What’s also all too common is to have a spouse who is mentally ill.[/quote]

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