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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was spanked for silly things by my mom and my grandmother (she partly raised me). I grew up hating both of them.

With my kids I usually start with lectures, then time outs, then take away something, and if all fails then I do a one spanking. I don't go from zero to spanking.

I think at home our kids know by now how the "process" goes so they don't push my buttons all the way....

It's a good way for me too to not lose it all at once. But, yes, it takes a lot of patience.

On occasions if they have a horrible tantrum they get a cold shower to cool things down too. [/quote]

You're abusive. [/quote]
No they are not.[/quote]

The bizarre punishment of forcing a kid into a cold shower most definitely is abusive. See also: being made to kneel for hours, "washing" a mouth with soap, putting cayenne pepper on a child's tongue, etc. [/quote]

I apologize. I completely missed the shower part and yeah that's disturbing and scary. I retract my statement.[/quote]

There are some kids who will rage and rage and turn violent towards the rest of the family.  Time in their rooms does nothing.  If the duration of a shower (temp child's choice) is up to them, that they can end it when they want?  That's not abuse.

FWIW?  I resort to sending an sutistic child to shower when overwhelmed.  He's big enough that when he is violent, he could hurt himself or others.  I'm not turning it on or off, so he's determining temp and duration, and to me?  That's the difference between a way to calm and abuse.[/quote]

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