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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think it's silly that men are expected to pay for the dates. Moreover, the "whoever asks pays" doesn't change much because men are usually the ones asking. I get that women face disadvantages in the labor market, but it's unrealistic to try to undo societal unjustice during dates. I'm a black man, if I hang out with my white friend should they always pay because of discrimination, reparations, etc.? That would be weird for me to bring up slavery or police maltreatment of black males to justify their paying for me. If I went on a date with a white woman, who should pay by this logic? Women wear makeup, etc. but don't they do that for themselves? I'm not a fan of makeup anyway. That said, I always prepare to pay for the entire date and don't pay that much attention to if she offers to pay, at least not on the first few dates. This is not the hill I'm going to die on. If you want to lessen the sting of always picking up first date tabs here's some tips: Choose restaurants/activities that you would like to try. Even if the date is a bust, you'll have done something you wanted to do anyway. Meet for brunch/lunch. These meals are usually cheaper and more laid back. If the date is going bad there's a built in excuse to end it quickly(have to go back to work, run errands) and if it is going good you can segue to other activities without making her feel like you just want to get laid, as will more likely be the feeling late at night. Go ethnic. Ethnic restaurants are often cheaper, and if it is a cuisine she has not tried much will offer something to talk about/remember.[/quote] Who pays for the date has no correlation with the labor market; it is the sexual market, which rewards differently. The reason [b]men have paid for women since cavemen[/b] is because women are more sexually valuable, not because they make more money. The vast number of women have more dating options than men, and in market terms that means men compete for them. The $30 for her dinner is a very small window into this economy.[/quote] Dating as practiced today is only about 125 years old. "Cavemen" didn't go on dates, where would they go? For most of human history, we were hunter gatherers. What would have been used for payment? Most of what was needed was readily available from the land it was the proverbial "Garden of Eden." Most people lived in groups and hoarding of resources was frowned upon. It's not like one guy could hunt a mastadon by himself, and even if he could, where would he store all that meat? So it seems unlikely men were "paying" for dates/sex/wives in caveman days. As far as women having more dating options than men, the sex ratios are roughly equal, so that is a mathematical impossibility. It may seem this way because women are generally pickier, but if each woman picks one guy, there won't be many men left over. Indeed, depending on the demographic group (middle aged, etc.) there won't be enough men to go around. [/quote]
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