Reply to Guy I'm dating says he needs time to "wrap things up" before we start our relatioship- what to do?

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Reply to "Guy I'm dating says he needs time to "wrap things up" before we start our relatioship- what to do?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What he said wasn't necessarily off/wrong but what is telling is that when you told it him made you uncomfortable, he responded in the way that he did--dismiss your feelings ('overthinking it') and then turning it on you (accusing you of punishing him when you told him that you were uncomfortable). That tells me that you and he are not at all compatible. I mean, you just had a talk about becoming exclusive, and the first thing he does is downplay your feelings so....[/quote]

Here's the thing. Just because you have "feelings" doesn't mean that the situation warrants your suspicions.

What really bugs me about this thread is that if we're taking OPs post as facts - then all the OP did was be upfront, honest, and say he wanted to break things off with others in person. OP doesn't really have a role in that - the BF didn't even have to tell her. If he wanted to be disingenuous, then all he would have to do is say nothing. But OP wanted to dictate how HE ended things with others - when they were not exclusive. [b]For OP to feel "uncomfortable" with someone who doesn't feel good about ending things through text simply because she's not the one affected is childish and self-centered.[/b]

And then everyone piles on to say OP is shady? Based on what? Based on the fact that he had the nerve to say he wanted to end things on his terms before he's exclusive with OP? That's being shady? You people want minions not true partners. You can express your feelings - doesn't mean you get your way. WTF.[/quote]

This PP is dead wrong.  OP has the right to her feelings and to break things off when she's not comfortable.  They aren't compatible & she doesn't have to twist herself into an emotional pretzel to make it work.  Better on her for doing it sooner, rather than later.[/quote]

[b]DP[/b].  Of course OP has the right to her feelings and to break it off with anyone, for any reason.  It's the way that so many people had to twist the narrative to paint this guy as a sketchy scumbag that's ridiculous.  He didn't do anything wrong.  If she's not comfortable, don't date him, but he's not a bad guy, and needing to make him the bad guy to justify not moving forward in a relationship is childish.  [/quote]

She didn't make him the bad guy.  I'm defending her because you called her childish and self centered.  If, as you say, the guy in this scenario doesn't deserve to be dragged through the mud, then she deserves the same.  You are doing exactly what you are complaining about in your prior posts![/quote]

DP means "different poster."[/quote]

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