Reply to I finally set a boundary with in laws and they made me feel bad

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The entire reason not to insist on arriving at someone’s home five hours before being invited is always mental health of your host. They don’t want you to come at that time they want you to come later. If you come long before you are invited they will be less happy than if you come later. No one who is an adult should be insulted by this obvious fact [/quote]

Not everyone understands these basic manners, it seems.[/quote]

Whoever taught you manners failed. It's a pity that you think it's good manners to tell people that they are affecting your sanity by coming early (like they usually do).[/quote]

Why do you keep insisting that they usually come early on Christmas Eve when op clearly said this is the first Christmas Eve they have stayed?
Op said they always arrive early which is something that clearly needs to be addressed and for some reason the basic reason why people don’t arrive hours early had to be explained which was awkward 
This is something that should not need to be verbalized [/quote]

They always arrive early because they think they are welcomed whenever they arrive. That is the nature of their relationship with OP's family.
Maybe it was rude at the begining but once it's gone on for long enough, there seems to be an understanding that it is acceptable behavior. It's okay for OP to decide that she has had enough of it(it's great actually). But there are better ways to communicate this. OP did her best, and it's okay. Now she has it off her chest, and hopefully her PIL and her DH can get it straight.

But to pretend like that is the polite way to communicate this is ridiculous. OP will be fine. MIL will be fine. But if OP gets hurt by insensitive comments, she shouldn't be making insensitive comments herself.

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