Reply to What’s the end game plan for a cheating husband?

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Reply to "What’s the end game plan for a cheating husband?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Option 1: Divorce, divide family time, assets, probably have to sell the kids home, have trouble paying for their college, possibly lose social standing, put the kids on a custody schedule.

Option 2: Hopefully avoid all of this, and find someone to satisfy a need that is neglected in the marriage, stay married and sane.

[b]Option 3: Find someone additional to have sex with and wait until spouse accidentally stumbles across affair and divorces me at most inopportune time causing me to endure all consequences of Option 1 plus imposing betrayal trauma consequences on kids and STBX wife and permanently damaging those relationships.[/b]

It's this simple. And to the extent you expect men to have a sense of loyalty to not cheat, I promise you they will never feel a sense of sexual fidelity to someone they aren't having sex with.[/quote]

FTFY.

BTW, it’s not about a sense of loyalty not to cheat. It’s about expecting men having a sense of dignity and self-worth and respect for others not to live a life that is a lie and a manipulation of others - about men not believing the are entitled to lie and secretly manipulate others to get what you want.

Newsflash - marriage does not entitle you in perpetuity to sex from your wife of whatever style and frequency you “need”.  That belief is an extension of the concept of marital rape.   Yes, sex is important.  Yes, if you’re not getting enough, you’re entitled to decide that, on balance, you would prefer to leave the marriage.  You are not entitled to lie to someone else to secretly get sex outside the marriage in order to maintain a marriage. [/quote]

All of what you say is true. It's logical and in a perfect world it's ethical too.

All I was pointing out is that two other things are also true. 1) if a man isn't satisfied in a marriage he is going to look outside the marriage at some point. Especially if the marriage is sexless or near sexless. 2) when faced with a choice of leaving his family and disrupting his finances or finding an easy way to satisfy a need that does none of those but might hurt a woman whom he is not emotionally connected to, it's an easy decision.

You seem to feel personally attacked by this. I know some men cheat even when satisfied at home and if they happened to you I am sorry. It's the women (and men) who neglect their spouses but cry crocodile tears when cheated on that I roll my eyes at[/quote]

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