Reply to Support Group for middle aged husbands not having sex

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am a husband who is in sexless marriage, but it’s because my wife is chronically ill.  I do a stressful job, 90 percent of childcare not covered by a nanny.   Nearly all chores that are not outsourced as well. I would be up for sex every day if it was possible.

The women on this board who throw their relationships away because they are “frazzled” deserve the divorces that are in their future. [/quote]

I am sorry you are going through this.

Yes, a lot of divorced are people who sabotage their relationships by withholding affection and sex. It's a power play and one that always backfires with cheating and divorce. But you don't realize your mistake until the damage is done[/quote]
men seem to also withhold being a full partner.  They seem to think if they unload the dishwasher once, then that means that they contributed and they should get sex that night.[/quote]

Maybe the men would be better partners if they felt loved and supported?[/quote]

Sure, that’s totally possible.  But I understood that this thread was a support group for men who were unhappy with the amount of sex in their marriage? [/quote]

Right, and then it devolved into talking about all the ways that men are bad partners (and therefore not deserving of a good sex life). And I just found it odd that there was no discussion of ways that wives could better meet the emotional and physical needs of their husbands, and how that might make men be the partners that women want.[/quote]

The thing is...there are already men who are the partners women want. They’re the ones having regular sex because they meet their spouses needs.  There’s no need to try to “fix” a man (and really nor should someone try) if he doesn’t want to fix himself. There are plenty of men who will meet those needs.[/quote]

I agree. And it's a shame that so many women on this thread seem to have made bad choices for marriage. Or maybe worse, foolishly thought they could change the man after marriage. I'm just amazed at the lack of self-reflection in threads like these.[/quote]

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