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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Beware Beware Beware!

Anyone seriously thinking about taking on a relationship with someone with kids, you need to read up and get educated.  There is no such thing as the Brady Bunch.  No matter how good your intentions are and how hard you try there is a SERIOUS likelihood that the relationship will fail.

This is especially true for women who get involved with men who have daughters.  While it is better for boys, statistically, less than 20% of stepdaughters will fully accept another woman in their father's life.  This can happen even with adult daughters.  Girls tend to have huge loyalty/territory binds over their mothers, either alive or deceased.

If I had to do it over again, I would not have had a relationship with someone with kids.  Even when they adult, there are problems - including grandkids.  
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It would be really helpful to have source for your ‘data’. 20% says who? Your astrologer ? [/quote]

She is the source of her data. With a sample size of 1. All should take heed. Anyone that follows this PPs jaded position as some sort of golden rule, earns the outcome they receive.[/quote]

Start reading.  Become educated.

Patterns of Stepchild—Stepparent Relationship Development , Lawrence H. Ganong, Marilyn Coleman and Tyler Jamison, Journal of Marriage and Family
Stepmother Rejection and Psychological Maladjustment among Stepdaughters: Mediating Role of Social Competence By Shujja, Sultan; Malik, Najma Iqbal; Adil, Adnan; Atta, Mohsin, Journal of Behavioural Sciences
…Children in stepmother families appear to be less warm, less interactive, and more aversive in stepmother-child relationship (Hetherington & Jodl, 1994) and perceive stepmothers as rejecting (Shelton, Walters, & Harold, 2008). It becomes very difficult for the children to accept stepmother because they perceive their stepmothers as sharing partner in time and attention of real father (Bray, 1999).

And

…Hetherington, whose research methods are regarded by her peers as the gold standard, is professor emeritus in the department of psychology at the University of Virginia. 
"She is the leading social scientist who studies the effects of divorce on children," says Andrew Cherlin, a sociologist at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore. "She was the pioneer in her field, and we have all followed in her wake. She was the first serious researcher to do excellent, rigorous studies of children and families. Everyone has read her work and learned from it."
Per Hetherington, fewer than 20%. of young adult stepchildren feel close to their stepmoms. The divorce rate in remarriages is greater than those in first marriages, frequently because the stepmother is unpopular: She is often caught in the middle, expected to be nurturers of sometimes difficult and suspicious children.”

And

“As more than one adult stepchild told me, "My mom wouldn't like it if my stepmom and I were close." Often, a stepchild who "hates" her stepmom feels that in doing so she is expressing solidarity with her mother. If mom would explicitly give her permission to like her stepmother, and let her know that being nasty to stepmom is not an option, the behavior, and the resentment it stems from, would likely vanish.”  -- Wednesday Martin, Ph.D. Article in “Psychology Today” and author of “Stepmonster”

Also look up research by Constance Ahrons, Papernow, etc.

[/quote]

A widow is an entirely different situation. [/quote]

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