Reply to When the Other Woman meets your kids

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "When the Other Woman meets your kids "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]

There is no way they spend any time talking about you, OP. Seriously, let this go. You’ve created a what, 14 page thread about her at this point and are still sitting around on a Saturday night convincing yourself online how much she doesn’t bother you and you’re above this. There’s a scene in Mad Men where the little new hire gets on the elevator with Don and he’s mad Don presented the new guy’s idea as his own. He has a little tantrum and then goes “I feel sorry for you,” really thinking this is gonna hurt Don. Don owns the agency and has all the control. He responds “I don’t think about you at all.”

Consider which of these you really are.[/quote]

OP here.  This is actually my biggest fear. That the OW is exactly like Don Draper, and my kids are going to be spending time with that kind of sociopath.  They are going to have an adult figure in their lives who does horrible, selfish things to hurt others and shows no remorse or self awareness.

I don’t think she thinks much about me.  I don’t think she thinks much about her ex.  I don’t think she thinks at all about the damage this has caused the 5 kids.  That’s why I don’t want to have to interact with her and struggle to prepare for when that day arrives. [/quote]

Quite common that cheater‘s like yours are narcs. Don‘t know whether this helps but my 5yo identified the pattern without further input. Tells about the grim looks when she‘s not the kind of child they want her to be. The silent-treatment, the neglect instead of quality time. Says it‘s not the kind of love that adults should give to children. I ask in detail to how it makes her feel, to give examples and validate her feelings. She has sworn me in to keep this a secret. Here’s what could be helpful.

Together with headteacher I have put her under loose surveillance of school social worker. Without telling that I believe they are narcs. Told ex it’s common procedure after break-up. She meets with her for half an hour every week. Whenever 5yo comes to me with something like this, I encourage her to tell at school. These kind of things need to be documented by experts. If it‘s you, it just seems like the ex bitching around for petty things.

Also, you may find it soothing that my 5yo has found a way out. Often enough I get a phone call from ex that she wants to come home early because she is sick. Tummy ache or head ache. The moment the door closes after her, she‘s fine. When I ask, she says, she doesn‘t have it anymore. Just never tell your ex (tempting to let them know, I know). [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics