Reply to Would you get an amnio? Ambiguous genitalia at 20 week US

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[quote=Anonymous]OP here. 38 weeks and we just had another ultrasound, and like clockwork it seems I've lost my equilibrium again. Nothing is different, it just seems that reading the doctor's summary afterward saying the baby's appearance is "consistent with a male finding" or describing the genitalia is some kind of trigger for me. (For anyone new to the thread, no, I don't just hate male babies - tests showed the baby is genetically female, so what we've got is a person with XX chromosomes who inexplicably now has male external genitalia.)

I'm just so sad and can't understand why this is happening, and I'm also sad about being sad if that makes sense. With the very real physical labor ahead of me and the upcoming adjustment to having two kids, feeling like I'm not going into it with a positive attitude is really frightening. Like how am I going to cope with labor pain and being sleep deprived and wrangling a toddler and a newborn, all of which is quite hard on its own, if I'm sad and scared on top of it? It feels quite lonely, also, since my husband is pretty much just like "Well, we don't know anything yet and can't currently do anything, so I'll just calmly wait and see what happens." He claims not to be judging me for my emotional reaction, but in some ways I can't help but feel like he thinks it's a sign of weakness that I can't just put off having feelings until there's sufficient information, whatever that means. I may be/am probably projecting. But I suppose even in the absence of information, I'm responding to what feels like a real loss for me - like I've lost my innocence and the uncomplicated joy and excitement that you'd hope a pregnancy would bring, and am mourning the idea of perfectly healthy/normal baby. Once the baby is here I think the doctors who are experienced with this will put us in touch with some psychological support resources, so I'll definitely avail myself of those since having a mom who's a mild-to-moderate basketcase won't help the baby no matter what's going on. In the meantime, I just hope I can pull myself back together in time for the birth. Thankfully there are no more ultrasounds scheduled, so we're just in countdown mode now.

On the bright side, I am kicking gestational diabetes's ass, and the baby is totally normal size. Small victories, right? [/quote]

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