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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hi, OP here.  Just following up that my wife initiated and had the most passionate sex we have had in probably the past 5 years last night.   I guess not caring/behaving like I have in the past got the message across that all my other attempts of communicating in the past haven't.  Just an FYI for others in my situation, not looking to restart the thread.[/quote]

Serious question OP because I'm curious: are you now back to "caring" about her?

I'm really curious because my husband does this too. All lovey dovey for the day or two after we've had sex then pulls away. It's irritating.[/quote]

OP here, no not really.  It isn't really about the sex, that is why the sex we were occasionally having was so bad.  Its about her wanting to be my wife and lover, not just getting me off to shut me up about it.  If there is some ongoing change in her attitude towards our sex life in general maybe, but at this point I think its been too long and too much water under the bridge.  Not trying to be a jerk but one event can't undo all that has happened.

If in your relationship you feel like you are being a good romantic partner-not just a roommate that occasionally sleeps with him to placate him- and he pulls away that is on him.  But if he can tell that you feel like, "phew" now that's over with and it will go back to the way it was before then it probably won't make a difference.  If that is the case, as it is in my relationship, one time won't change the dynamic of him pulling away.  If that isn't the case, then he is just kind of being a jerk.

The thing that would make me engage with my wife again-"care"-is to feel like she genuinely wants to be my romantic partner.  One time doesn't cancel out all the days she hasn't.  And if she doesn't want to be my romantic partner, that's fine, I just can't really "care" anymore.    
  [/quote]

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