Reply to Is the line between "courtship" and harassment really that blurry?

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Reply to "Is the line between "courtship" and harassment really that blurry?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]One day my secretary came to work with curly hair. I asked her if she had just got a perm, she replied no her hair is curly and so straitens it before work but today she was running late.

Another time I commented on if she changed the color of her hair, she said yes I had highlights a week ago.

She has told me before she likes a particular shirt I am wearing.

A man that works for me today asked where I got a sweater and that it looked warm.

I will say good morning to any person I walk pass unless they are looking at the ground to avoid eye contact.

I went out with a girl I sort of knew from a mutual friend. She was bored and said we should hang out, so I took her to a dive bar to play pool and have a couple drinks out in the car I reached over and kissed her. She told me afterwards it was a huge turn on that I would take control like that.

The girl I kissed I could see that as possible harassment, but I had a feeling since she asked me to hang out she was interested.

What about the other instances? [/quote]

There is no need to comment on your secretary's appearance. She also does not need to comment on your appearance. It's unprofessional. The sweater thing is fine. Saying good morning is fine as long as you aren't abrasive about it.

The situation with the girl is clearly not a problem since she affirmatively told you that she liked it and had given you indications that she was interested in you.

This is really not that complicated.[/quote]

That's funny. I've actually got into trouble with women at the office because I did *not* complement them on their new hair style ("You don't like my new hair??"/"You didn't say anything. Is it that bad?").[/quote]

You have not "gotten into trouble." The appropriate response to those questions is, "I did notice, but I try not to comment on people's personal appearance at work. I'm sorry you felt slighted." and then move on. [/quote]

The point is that some women actually appreciate and sometimes expect men to compliment them on their appearance. Yes, we can stop doing that, but it is revisionist history to claim that women have always hated this.[/quote]

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