Reply to An explanation and request from a mom of a kid with autism

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Having read through this entire thread in one go was entertaining and also extremely heartbreaking. I work with children with visible and invisible disabilities. 
For those asking for specific examples of  overaction:

1) At the pool, Child A said "we don't want to play with you anymore"- quote from a tv show as that is how A communicates. I moved away to give A space. Random parent starts talking loudly about disrespectful children and incompetent caregivers who don't 'nip that behavior in the bud"
2) At the playground, Child B is climbing up and down a structure. Other kids come over and hang out on various points preventing B from moving up or down. I politely ask them to give B a chance to get off as B is quickly becoming overwhelmed and near tears.  Child moves, allowing me to remove B from the situation- parent of one of the kids yells at me for "letting B be a crybaby"
3) At the pool, Child C meltdowns while in the water. Lifeguards are aware of the children I work with and check with pre-arranged signals to see if I need assistance. I love Child C to a safe spot where C won't harm the self or others. Several parents remark "What is wrong with C?" "Kids like that shouldn't be at the pool"
4) In a restaurant, Child D is standing and stimming while eating a slice of pizza. Family specifically chose a table out of the way of others. Some kids laugh and point it out (nbd) and their parents say something to the effect of "yeah that's weird. I know you would never act so naughty".

I have also experienced times out with clients where I've been met with compassion and empathy by shop owners, parents, caregivers. But it is the instances of intolerance that sting because what looks like horrible behavior could be a child having a great day for them behavior wise--i.e. crying instead of lashing out and hitting , spinning instead of running. It is definitely not ok to just let kids do whatever, but I can certainly see where OP is coming from. Obviously everyone has their own challenges. The problem comes when the best thing for the child is to have a neutral or non-reaction and other people demand justice. 
Child D spits on them self and on objects. At the park, D spat on the slide. Without assigning a value to it, D was instructed and assisted in cleaning and sanitizing the slide (wiping it with a Clorox wipe, drying it with a paper towel). Once it has been repaired, D is free to continue playing with an accommodation (a chew) and an acknowledgment that spit stays in their own mouth. That work is undone by a parent telling D "you're a disgusting little boy." "Spitting is wrong". I get that it's gross, but it done for the reaction and giving one because the plan doesn't fit  your sense of correction, undoes a lot of work. I can understand OP's frustration if they are encountering that (undoing of hard earned progress) all the time.[/quote]

Fascinating!

Now how do you respond when child A, B. C, orD snatches a toy from another kid, hits another kid, growls at another kid or spits on another kid?

Do you  feel that in those situations particular the spitting the arent of the other child has a right to be annoyed?

[/quote]

I am sorry, why exactly are you being so sarcastic and aggressive here? You do realize these are disabled children, right? I mean, you need to get some perspective here. You truly do. Professionals that work with disabled children are amazing and doing work that deserves credit. I have never, in real life, heard anyone feel free to be this unapologetically terrible, and I really wish you could be outed.

"Annoyed". Okay. Its also annoying when NT kids grab toys, push, kick, hit, scream, ruin dinners, are annoying. Stuff they're out there doing on a regular basis. So, sure, feel free to be annoyed.

It has been said hundreds of times that nobody is allowing hitting, snatching, or scaring.

[/quote]

[b]You seem realy agressive.
OP has stated that is's not a big deal if her kid hits, growls, annd spits on someone and that parents and their kids should essentially get over it.[/b]

Given your response you feel the same way.

I'm glad to know real  professionals and know that this attidute is not the norm.[/quote]

OP here - yeah, I never said this. Not once. You cut and paste where you think I said that and you can gi ahead and win the internet.

Parents were pissed off that I suggested maybe they could not create situations that are unnecessarily challenging for all children and in particular any child with special needs.

What is amazing to me is the lack of foresight you all have. Guarantee you every single parent on here is going to need to ask for tolerance or acceptance of their child at some point in time. I hope for your childrens' sakes you are met with more than you show. [/quote]

You did OP.
You've probably forgotten  but you did.
also thank you for outing yourself as  the "therapist".  
Personally, I think you started this entire thread to create drama and get your jollies from riling people up. , which you did succeed in doing that so congrats.[/quote]

You go ahead and show me that. I am waiting.

And no, I am not the "therapist". There are actually people out there that work with children with special needs. They have a little more experience with all of this than you do. I know, its cray!

And no, no jollies. The intense fear and anger some parents have of children with special needs is hardly "jolly."[/quote]

That's correct you are not a therapist. You are just pretending to be one.[/quote]

No, I did not. I am sure at some point that actual therapist may happen by, but in the meantime, you are just going to have to suspend your disbelief that not everyone thinks kids with special needs should be indoors or on private swing sets. [/quote]

It's ironic because you and "therapist" display the same writing style and selective comprehension.

Anway, I don't think children or people with disabilities should be kept locked up

One day you will realize  ( I hope) that not every person who calls you out on letting your son spit and hit without YOU apologizing to the kid and parent  is not someone who thinks your son should be locked up.[/quote]

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