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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]FYI, spanking is not discipline. It's punishment. Discipline teaches, punishment punishes and then scares. If that's what you want to do fine, but let's call it what it is. Lots of things "work" with kids but that doesn't mean they are effective in the long run. It would also be really quick and easy for me to give in to every single thing my 3 year old wants. We'd never have tantrums and he'd be happy as a clam. I'd also be raising a monster. No one likes disciplining their kid, but you are raising an adult, not a kid and you have to think about who you want that adult to be. Teaching children to think through their actions, to explain cause-and-effect and to think, will help them much more in the long run. Not to mention that children learn all about what to expect in relationships from their parents. I certainly wouldn't allow someone to hit me when they didn't like something I did so why should our children expect to be hit? Sure, there are lots of things kids can't do or expect, that adults can, but there is nothing about respect and the give and take of a relationship that differs, whether you are talking about an adult or a child.

As for the studies, yes they are mixed. Some of them are garbage (on both sides). And generally, if children are in a loving home where their needs are met they will probably be fine whether you spank or not. But there is absolutely no evidence that it works, in the long term, to teach kids anything about behavior, relationships, or consequences.

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It definitely teaches about consequences. However, it's certainly not the ONLY thing you would ever do in terms of teaching and discipline, so saying that it works, but doesn't teach about "relationships" is more than a little disingenuous. It's a punishment to correct bad behavior in that moment. If it works in the short term, it works. [/quote]

"If it works in the short term, it works." Nope. Not even close to true for many things in life, especially raising a child - in which, short term fixes rarely work for anything long term. Every single minute of a child's development is the way in which they learn about the world. Short cuts happen because they have to for parents to be sane and functional. But just because something appears to "work" in the short term, says nothing about how it works over the long term. Spanking "works" in the short term for PARENTS. It never "works" for kids.

Also, even if you don't buy into the "spanking does harm" literature...what's the defense for it? What's the argument against teaching your children about respect, kindness, gentleness, and appropriate boundaries? My son knows it is never okay to hurt someone - himself, other people, animals. There are no exceptions to this rule. I teach him that because I believe it's just as true for adults as for kids. Inflicting physical pain or threat is never the way I want anyone in my life to act, much less a lesson I want my son to learn. [/quote]

If you believe that it's never OK to punish a child in any form, I think you're a little bit wacky, but nobody could say that you're logically inconsistent or hypocritical. However, if you believe that sometimes, some form of punishment is appropriate (including punishments that would not be considered appropriate for your coworker), then you're arguments are meaningless by logical fallacy.[/quote]

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