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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Nothing about the PP's post sounds jealous. Why is so hard to admit some people find a career fulfilling - especially when data shows 80 percent of SAHMs do so because they can't afford childcare? Statistically women who have advanced degrees with high earning husbands chose to stay in the workforce. Average time off is two years away. You can look this up. Not everyone wants to stay at home.

And it is hard to find intellectually challenging volunteer work. There are legal implications to not paying a worker so a lot of companies only accept this type of work for grad school credit. [/quote]

I don't think it is wrong at all to say some people want a fulfilling career, but two parents can not have careers and also raise their kids full time, whether they are young or in school.  There is a choice and it seems like so many woman think they can do both but you can't without sacrificing one or the other every single day.  You are choosing to be with a client instead of at your child's soccer practice.  You are choosing to have a Nanny come take care of your child with a fever because you can't take another sick day.  If you stay home with your child, you miss a meeting that potentially changes your career.  You are stuck in traffic and miss your child's final performance.  When your teen is devastated about their first break-up, you can't console them because you are at a convention for a few days.  Sure, people can say this is life.  The kids should understand.  But most parents don't watch their kids grow up and say "I should have been there less."

I tried to do it.  I had a wonderful job with tons of perks but once I had kids, they became my priority.  I tried to do both but the last straw was pumping in a hotel room by myself on my child's first Halloween. I landed a great client and made a shit load in commission that day but all I cared about was wanting to be with my child.  I am sure there are working moms that wouldn't have cared.   I mean really, my child couldn't even walk yet and wouldn't remember it.  But I would and it bothered me.  And when I tried to go back again a few years later, the juggling between my husband and I and 2 kids took it's toll.  I knew my job was not to work FT.  It was to be a mom FT.  It was the more important job.  We could have made a shit load more money and easily hired a nanny but I wouldn't take any of these years back.  It has been an absolute joy to raise my now 3 kids.  I still work about 10-16 hours a month and make pennies but it keeps my foot in the door and that is the only reason I do it.

This is a great article.....

http://theweek.com/articles/627821/ugly-secret-working-moms[/quote]

Sorry can't relate to that article. Seems like that is an older woman working before telecommute and flex schedules and the like. 
My husband and I wanted both parents to raise our kids so we are both working flex schedules vs. the traditional paycheck dad. A lot of our friends are choosing the same thing - likely a generational thing.[/quote]

You are living in a dream. 95% of families don't have a luxury of two parents working telecommuting and flex schedules.  It isn't a generational thing. It is a Chevy Chase thing.

This article was written this week.  And 79% of woman from dual income families say they still do most of the cleaning, errands, shopping, scheduling and cooking even if they work full time like their husband.  So instead of trying to make things equal, woman are just increasing their workload. Maybe a few lucky people here on DCUM can outsource housekeeping, errands, laundry, shopping but most woman still have to do it themselves. Dads are not driving home from work worrying  "did I make Suzy's well visit appointment?" "Did Johnny get his Halloween costume ready?" "What will I make for dinner, let's stop at the store." [/quote]

Gee great to know you know my reality better than me. My point was that we have flexible schedules so it makes sense for both of us to work. There are people on this thread making sweeping generalizations "TRAFFIC! Long commutes! LONG HOURS! Conventions! Constant travel! Nannies raising kids!"
[b]
And I'm saying that is not my reality, no matter how angry that makes you. I'm sorry this was your life. If this was ours I would stay home. [/b]We could live off DH's income. We chose not to because we are both able to keep careers and raise our family.[/quote]

It's nice for you that you have unique circumstances but what you're not hearing is people telling you that your experience is NOT the norm! So maybe be quiet about your special circumstances and don't spout nonsense about which you apparently know nothing. Long days and long commutes (and low pay) are the norm for most Americans. If you are highly paid, such that you can afford to outsource every annoying household chore as a PP was telling me to do, your experience IS NOT THE NORM. So STFU about what REAL middle class people should do. [/quote]

It is my norm and the norm of most of my friends. I'm a new poster BTW. You sound very unhappy. Sorry your experience never progressed with the internet boom of 1996.[/quote]

Wow, not the PP but you are an selfish entitled bitch with an extremely ugly heart.  Get down off your pedestal and see that most of America doesn't have the opportunities that you had/have.  Talk about a lack of empathy.  Wearing blinders won't make you a better human being.  Just wow.  [/quote]

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