Reply to What is it like to be a family at an elite NWDC Private who can just barely afford it?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have not read the previous posts. But OP, in response to your original post, I will say that I grew up as the family-barely-able-to-afford-it kid at an elite DC private. It was really, really difficult. I basically still have a chip on my shoulder about not having as much money as other people. My husband had a similar experience and the commonality of experience as the have-nots is what drew us together. Both of us always felt inferior to those with more money. Our friends were always going on ski vacations, going to their beach houses, Caribbean vacations, driving fancy cars, etc. We felt left out and ridiculed b/c we were "poor" (never mind that we were not poor by any stretch of the imagination). It was somewhat miserable. Perhaps our skin is not very thick though....

We will not be sending our child to an elite NW DC private school. [/quote]

I think your experience is more common than parents would like to believe.  Thank you for sharing that.  [/quote]

Not for me. I was a have not at a very wealthy private school outside of this area. I am in my late 30's. My single mother sacrificed and worked hard for me to attend. I am eternally grateful. Those people with the nice houses, clothes, cars, and vacations all inspired me to work hard so I too could have a nice life one day. All the kids who went to the public highschool in my neighborhood are still for a lack of a better word, losers. I think the most anyone ever accomplished out of my area public school was becoming a local area real estate agent. The others all work as bartenders or retail. My private school class, has the highest percentage of alumni that went to medical school, including myself.

I am still friends with many highschool friends and at reunion events no one ever looks down on me. My uniforms were always bought used, my mom drove an old mitsubishi, and some days I only could afford to buy french fries for lunch. I loved my school, and my teachers. I had great friends and amazing experiences. I did not get to go on the Europe trip senior year, but no one ever made me feel bad about it and when I finally made to the top of the eiffel tower and ate lunch at Jules Verne, all I could think about was my awesome mom. Private all the way for my kids. 
  [/quote]

I agree.  It is what you make of it.  There are people that live in the slums that will always live in the slums.  Why?  Because they rather take hands outs and complain about others who have more than them.  Parents teach their kids this way of life.  If your kids are not the wealthiest, it is because the wealthy are selfish, we deserve more, life isn't fair etc... Their bad attitude rubs right off on the kids.  The kids feel self conscious.  Bullies find their targets in kids that are easy to push around. And those "rich" bullies everyone is talking about?  Why are they that way?  What is going on in their life that is making THEM so unhappy that they feel better making others feel just as bad as them.

We are not wealthy.  I would say we are in the bottom 15-20% of my child's school.  But she is a hard worker and has confidence for days.  She is in high school.  It won't change.  She has never been bullied.  She never feels left out. She was elected in student council and is president of one of the clubs.  Both elected by her peers.  She knows the grass always appears greener on the other side and you never know what is going on behind closed doors.  She appreciates that she has parents that aren't divorced, that can spend time with her, that work hard to give her things that don't come easy.   You don't need $$$ to raise your child to have confidence and like themselves.  I see plenty of wealthy kids feeling alone, depressed, cutting, binge-drinking, committing suicide, etc...  If you teach your kids to equate wealth with happiness you are helping them live a life full of anxiety and disappointment.  It isn't the rich kids fault, it is yours.  [/quote]

YESSSSS!   well said.[/quote]

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