Reply to Making time for kids? Study says quality trumps quantity

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The saddest part about this thread is that some of the SAHMs who are so intent on making WOHM feel bad about themselves have daughters of their own, and will teach these daughters that they cannot both have a fulfilling career and be a good mom. Such a false choice. And when some of these daughters do try to maintain careers they've worked their entire lives for and also have children, these women will do their best make them feel awful about it. [/quote]

See, I've had exactly the opposite thought.   When the daughters of all gheae these WOHMs grow up, they're not even going to consider SAH with their kids because their mothers will have ingrained in them, from Day 1, that successful women simply don't stay home with their kids.  Instead, they pay other women (lesser beings, in their books), to do the actual childcare. And that is so sad, that these women will never have the support of their own mothers to raise their kids the way they choose, if that way includes staying home with them.

As a SAHM, I'm planning on supporting my daughter in any way I can, whether she chooses to be a WOHM or a SAHM, or any combination of the two.  But I'll absolutely be teaching (and showing) her the value and importance of having a SAHP.[/quote]

Do you actually know any WOHMs really well? You talk about them as if they are a different species that you haven't studied well. Most of the ones I know don't sit around judging other women for their choices. And they certainly don't fit this fantasy nit-SAHM picture you paint. All I want for my daughter is for her to know that she has choices and one is to SAH and one is to WOH. And I want her to be happy with her choice.[/quote]

Agree, but I hope that by the time she is planning on having kids, that there will be enough change in govt policy and the workplace so that she won't have to make a hard choice. I am grateful that I work in an environment where I received at tremendous amount of time off, paid, and have a flexible schedule (university professor), so that I have been able to have children AND pursue a fulfilling career. Yes, my husband and I need a nanny--not just me, as he needs childcare so that he can go to work, too--and she is wonderful. But, she does not have a PhD, loves working as a nanny, and is well compensated for her work. We don't consider her a lesser being, and we are so thankful to have had her in our lives for several years now. I think that many professional women feel the way I do. I do wonder sometimes if women who choose to SAH have "given up" without pursuing alternative options, and I wish that they would have petitioned their own businesses before quitting for better options for working families, but I don't look down on the choices they've made.[/quote]

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